This is a busy time of year for Santa Claus. To make matters worse, we’ve all been struggling with inflation, including Santa. The 12 days of Christmas will cost 5.4% more than two years ago. For crying out loud, those three French hens will set you back almost 41% more than last year.

Bob and Doug McKenzie’s more practical gift list was ahead of its time.

So Santa needed to relax and clear his head. If there’s anything we’ve learned since society was discontinued two years ago, it’s that we all need time to disconnect.

So Santa came to Fort Worth to call some bingo. Meals on Wheels set up the game, booking Santa at 17 senior centers in Tarrant County [Santa was not planning stops on the Dallas side of the Metroplex].

A couple who were playing explained they’re glad rec centers are opening back up so they can reconnect with their friends during the holiday season.

That gentleman presents a strong point about how life was getting monotonous for all of us last year. But he might be a bit of an outlier in his desire to meet more people. Maybe he’s not spending much time with social media. At the same time, though, not spending time with social media might be the greatest Christmas gift you can give yourself.

Loyal Scaiaholics will recall I expect a smooth transition to becoming an old man. Meals’ on Wheels of Tarrant County’s VP of adult activity centers made a strong pitch for becoming an old man. They have more than 100 classes available, including some sort of Penn & Teller tutorial.

Loyal Scaiaholics will also recall my roster of can’t miss business ideas. It’s good to know that when I’m a senior, I’ll have so many programs and services available to help me continue procrastinating.

Many of the folks who were playing bingo with Santa were glad to be escaping cabin fever. Others, though, were more serious bingo players. One of the organizers said COVID led to a lot of regular games being cancelled, so people were starting to check out Meals on Wheels events as they got more comfortable leaving home.

She explained the gameplay is slightly different, with movable windows on the bingo card instead of the pens you use to mark off a number.

“Daubers!” I exclaimed, feeling pleased with myself for knowing.

Some were getting antsy, though. They wanted Santa to call numbers quicker since they couldn’t keep as many boards.

But I only headline, so after Santa opened for me with a couple games, they introduced me.

One of those can’t-miss business ideas was to become a fashion icon. Perhaps I’m not cut out for that racket, though, given that I showed up to a Christmas party wearing a blue shirt.

I won the crowd back with my Mavericks face mask, but maybe I should take that Penn & Teller class to learn the art of showmanship. That’s the key, kids: always know your audience.