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Big Scai’s Beer Frontier

big-scais-beer-frontier

As part of my series on million dollar business ideas, let me introduce you to Big Scai’s Beer Frontier [patent pending].

Back when I lived in Oregon, I once mentioned beer and liquor drive-thrus back home in Ohio. An associate, I explained, had worked at the iconic Fat Daddy’s drive-thru in Moraine.

No one in Oregon understood the concept of a liquor drive-thru.

“They just walk up and load beer into your car?” I was often asked. “That seems like it’d encourage drinking and driving.”

​Oregon law forbids stores to sell alcohol at a “drive-up window.” Immediately, I started on a work-around.

You can’t sell beer at a drive-up window, but what if you just pulled into the parking lot and people brought the liquor to you while you’re parked?! Big Scai’s Beer Frontier was born. You might think it’s weird that I kept schematics I scribbled down on small sheets of paper 12 years ago when I lived in a city 2,000 miles away. You might be a fool.

​Let me walk you through it:

Big Scai’s Beer Frontier is along Highway 395 in Hermiston, Oregon. That’s the biggest road in town and conveniently located midway between Portland and Boise, Idaho. That way, you’ll draw an audience from both cities. Never mind that both cities are about three hours away. It doesn’t matter.

I had never lived in Texas at the time, but I happen to be a visionary. You’d set up billboards, you see, along the highways like Buc-Ee’s, telling people leaving Portland to make the 185 mile drive to Hermiston. Hermiston is the only town with the guts to make buying beer an experience!

“Only 150 miles to sage, sun and Big Scai’s Beer Frontier!” the billboards would explain as you got closer. [The slogan totally makes sense. Hermiston is actually in a desert.]

Big Scai’s Beer Frontier includes a normal liquor store [near the top left of the first artist’s rendering above].

Most people in Oregon enjoy drinking beer from Oregon, so there’s also a micro-brew tasting room [top right].

Here’s the difference: People can park outside the Beer Frontier.

There, you’ll find message boards and phones, like at a Sonic. You pick up the phone and explain what you’d like. An attractive woman on roller blades then comes out with your case of beer.

The woman on roller blades, the Beer Frontierstress, would also be an important of the TV ad campaign. The Beer Frontier would run commercials with the wagon from “Oregon Trail.” Just as the wagon is about to die from dysentery, the Beer Frontierstress rolls up with a six pack of Deschutes IPA, looks at the camera and gives a thumbs up, saying, “Congrautlations! You have made it to Oregon!

The City of Portland has decided not to allow marijuana drive-thrus. The Beer Frontier, meanwhile, would work to prevent drinking and driving.

Louisiana [and a store in Dallas] have drive-thru daiquiris. Those have very specific rules. The daiquiristress must place the lid firmly on top and hand the straw separately.

In Oregon, the Beer Frontierstress would explain quite clearly that the beer needed to remain sealed while in the car.

When I went back for the rodeo last month, I saw that area along 395 is growing rapidly. I’ll need to move quick on the Beer Frontier. Quicker, at least, than just coming up with a couple crudely drawn sketches over the course of 12 years.

Still, though, patent pending!

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