The last thing I did before I left for the hurricanes last month was cover the hard-hitting story about the new menu items at AT&T Stadium. I didn’t have time to blog with everything that was going on, but this weekend is the Cowboys’ last home game until next month, so it feels like now’s the time.
Each Spring, I would attend the Texas Rangers’ crazy new dish exposition. This Fall, I decided a crazy new dish swan song was in order.
While the Rangers would usually have some crazy entries (a tamale stuffed with a TamArlington dog, for instance), the Cowboys went smaller. As a journalist, it was my RESPONSIBILITY to try the new dishes to make sure they were suitable. I’ll miss these taste tests:
PAMBAZO SANDWICH
Listen, the Pambazo Sandwich is billed as being “as big as your head,” but I feel like if the Rangers were doing this, it’d be as big as 20 heads, so kudos to the Cowboys for their restraint. Also, kudos to the Rangers for making giant sandwiches.
The Pambazo Sandwich is a holdover from last year, featuring chorizo, refried beans, potato, cheese and fix-ins. Then, the whole thing, I swear, is dipped in chili sauce.
Fun fact: I did not know what “chorizo” was until I moved to Texas. Back home, we had brats, sausage and Italian sausage, which my family just called “sausage.”
HEAVEN AND HELL BURGER
This year, the Rangers put fried cheese on a ribeye sandwich, and the Cowboys’ chef said, “Pssh. I got this.”
The Heaven and Hell Burger is a burger topped with macaroni and cheese that’s been coated with Cheetos and fried to a striking orangeness. The macaroni and cheese is then also dipped into spicy buffalo sauce.
I’m not entirely sure which part of the dish is Heaven and which is Hell. Consult a clergyman for more information, making sure you make the Sign of the Cross with one of those giant foam fingers.
PRO BOWL
The Pro Bowl is fried rice topped with shish-kabobs. Then the other reporters laugh at you for referring to them as “shish kabobs.”
They’re skewers of peppers, chicken and beef. What am I, a tourist?!
TEXAS CHICKEN AND WAFFLE
They put the fried chicken on a sandwich of Texas shaped waffles. Then, to make sure you’re getting your essential cholesterol for the day, it’s topped with “maple pecan mayo”, pepper jack cheese, bacon and fried onions. The whole thing is about six inches tall, leading other reporters to laugh at me again when I took it apart and approached it as an open-face situation.
GELATO AND SORBET BAR
Gelato and sorbet?! Back in Ohio, you got a Frosty Malt, and I didn’t hear anyone complainin’.
One of the flavors is prickly pear. Shiner made Ruby Redbird year round and introduced a Prickly Pear ale a few years ago. Frankly, I don’t think it ever recovered.
Another option is “Mochi,” which is allegedly a type of ice cream that’s more mobile. It’s ice cream made out of rice, which sounds like it might be a scam.
In conclusion, the Cowboys put on a good show, complete with a guy at field level hacking away at a side of beef.
