During this time of political strife, let’s not forget the long hours public relations consultants have been putting in to come with the next unforgettable slogan. I’ve received a lot of press releases from both Republicans and Democrats the past few days. They do agree the bill is big, but they diverge on whether it’s beautiful, bad, or may involve boot-licking.

After breathlessly reporting each development the past two days, I’m increasingly certain DJ3000 could play a vital role in radio’s future.

We’ve never, to my knowledge, lived in a certain time, so while all this jabbering back and forth might make you nervous about the future, allow me to comfort you: We’ve been getting on each others’ nerves for millennia.

This article points out civilization after civilization has come up with a story about a flood. My takeaway is each one of these cultures has reached a point where the deity of choice says, “This isn’t what I had in mind, and you know this isn’t what I had in mind.”

Back in school, we learned maybe–just maybe–Adam and Eve were an analogy, not a real couple fretting about the availability of fig leaves. Similarly, Noah may not have been rockin’ an ark with a bunch of animals gettin’ intimate. Maybe it was a fable to highlight the importance of trusting God to lead you to a new beginning.

During times of stress, I often tell people to relax which, ironically, frequently makes them less likely to relax. Maybe Noah’s is a story we can all benefit from hearing right now.

The Mesopotamians, Babylonians, Sumerians and Hebrews might have all wound similar tales about a flood and then restoration. A modern version could involve a dragon coming down from space and telling people not to argue about politics with strangers on the internet.

Then when they keep doing it, the Lord shuts down the internet for 40 days and 40 nights. Modern day Noah would have to hide in a bunker while kids pirouette themselves into a tizzy over not being able to see the latest dance trend.

Then at the end, we all learn our lesson when Noah’s dove returns to him. Instead of an olive leaf, the bird will have some Cheap Trick tickets it managed to buy online.

We might seem different, but every civilization has stories about upheaval and renewal. We can work toward a brighter future where our robot overlords make legislative decisions. Meantime, you can take after your Mesopotamian forefathers during the next storm and say, “Man, it’s comin’ down like cuckoo cakes out there.”