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“I remember you,” the director of sports auctions at Heritage Auctions said when I walked into their office this week. “You’re the Montreal Expos fan.”

Heritage has an array of sports memorabilia on the block. Tragically, none of it honors Youppi!, but it does include other legends in professional sports. Macho Man Randy Savage, for instance.

For just $12,000, you could walk into the next board meeting at the office, dressed in a way that shows you’re ready to lead and also ready to snap into a Slim Jim.

Maybe Macho Man’s suit isn’t enough, though. The Von Erichs are a well-known Texas wrestling family, so under the suit, you can wear Kevin Von Erich’s trunks featuring dirt marks and degradation.

Maybe you prefer football, but you’d still like to have a piece of clothing verified to have not been washed. Patrick Mahomes’ jersey is covered with grass stains, but he was never actually sacked in this game from 2020.

“They Chiefs have done okay,” you’re thinking to yourself. “But I’d like to see something from the Cincinnati Bengals, the only team to beat Kansas City in the playoffs for three years..”

Ivy says there’s an outside chance the Joe Burrow jersey may not command the same $300,000 expected for Mahomes’ jersey.

If you’re looking for a deal, you might think this Luca Doncic rookie card would be worth less now that he’s been traded. But now it’s vintage and worth a premium.

Luka still won’t draw Babe Ruth money, though. You might have to sell the Holy Grail to afford this Ruth rookie card.

If you’re thinking of starting your own baseball team but need uniforms, Roger Maris can help you out with stirrups and everything.

Ivy says Maris was wearing this jersey when he hit seven of his 61 home runs in 1960.

Mickey Mantle won’t sell you his stirrups, but you can own a jersey he wore in 1957.

In the olden days, Ivy explains players would just recycle jerseys, so Mickey’s wound up being demoted to the Yankees’ Class A team.

The player who inherited the jersey knew he was getting something worn by the reigning MVP, so he hung onto it, then the Yankees’ logo was restored.

The jacket worn by John Carlos when he gave the Black power salute at the 1968 Olympics also wound up in someone’s closet for decades.

There’s a lesson here for all of us. We all go through periods where we feel like the wrong logo has been sewn into our chest or we’re wasting away in the back of someone’s closet. We just need to be restored to bring out our previous luster.

It also helps if your metaphoric jacket was worn by an Olympic gold medalist or Major League Hall of Famer.