In this post-apocalyptic wasteland where we spent hours having to make phone calls over wifi and another mysterious balloon questions our very place in this universe, you may be feeling lost.
The editorial board here at 1 Scaianalysis Esplanade is happy to have found you. You can join us on this journey to try the new food for the upcoming FC Dallas season.
As a salve for our jangled nerves, Legends Hospitality is revolutionizing the giant food industry.
Loyal Scaiaholics look forward to, for all I know, reading about how our professional sports teams keep us fed. Last year, FC Dallas introduced the Monster Taco. You might think they’d sit back and rest on their laurels. You might be a fool.
This year, Chef Erika Dabney introduced two more items to the “Everything’s Bigger in Texas” stand because, as she points out, everything’s bigger in Texas.
Last year’s Monster Taco is back, and Dabney explains they realized by how many pictures people took of themselves studying the taco, they should expand the offering.
This year’s giant offerings start with the Texas Monster Dog. From Legends:
Grilled Texas-style footlong beef hot dog topped with house-smoked BBQ brisket, Texas chili, cheddar cheese, pickled jalapeños and crispy onions.
Location: Everything’s Bigger in Texas
Dabney explains, sure, you can get a hotdog anywhere. You can get chili on a lot of those hotdogs, but where else are you going to get a hotdog with Texas chili and brisket?!
She said we’d find it delicious. I’d need to verify that during the tasting portion of the event, which is coming up later. You might be concerned, thinking, “There’s three different types of beef on this hotdog, but I’d really prefer is a pig was also involved.”
The Cheesy Chipotle Bacon Foot-Long
Grilled footlong beef hot dog topped with warm cheddar queso, smokey chipotle mayo and crispy bacon.
Location: Everything’s Bigger in Texas
“This footlong hotdog needs something,” you’ve probably asked your spouse at a cookout.
“Here’s some mustard, honey,” your spouse may have responded.
“No, I just can’t put my finger on it,” you said, frowning.
At this point, a Legends chef would walk up with a carving knife and slice some bacon.
“That’s a little better,” you said, but you looked down at the ground as though still unfulfilled.
Luckily, that’s when Dabney happens to pass by with a crock pot and giant ladle to slap some queso on there.
Queso also plays a role in…
Authentic Chicken Tinga Nacho
Braised chicken tinga topped with creamy queso blanco, refried beans, pickled jalapeños, fresh cilantro and a lime wedge.
Location: Winners Club
DFW is growing as an international destination. Dabney explains it’s important to introduce queso to this symphony of different cultures.
I wish now I had noticed her describe queso as “stadium cheese” while we were still talking. We may worry about our cell phones or international espionage, but surely the Founding Fathers never imagined we’d become so prosperous, queso could become the default cheese for large venues.
Kicking Chicken
Golden fried chicken wings tossed in a choice of Smokey and Sweet BBQ Sauce, Casa M Lemon Pepper Dry Rub (featuring Casa M Free Range Spice) or Buffalo Sauce.
Location: Burgers & More.
Dabney encourages maybe get a few plates of these. You’ll need to cleanse your pallet after the hotdogs, plus if you get different flavors, the fam can all share them.
Chicken wings are easier to share, after all, instead of the kids all biting into the same hotdog, which sounds just awful. You know what else is shareable? Nachos.
Authentic Chicken Tinga Nacho
Braised chicken tinga topped with creamy queso blanco, refried beans, pickled jalapeños, fresh cilantro and a lime wedge.
Location: Winners Club
“I’m not entirely sure what tinga is,” I said.
She explained it patiently, like you explain a concept to a small child, and I thought it might be similar to the adobo chicken and steak in last year’s Double-Stacked Quesadilla.
But when we started tasting, an associate explained adobo is tangier, and tinga has a smokier quality. I respect that opinion and realized I have had tinga before. I just didn’t know it was called, “tinga.”
Backyard BBQ Tacos
House-smoked BBQ pulled-pork tacos topped with tangy cilantro chipotle slaw.
Location: Tex-Mex Q
Continuing this melting pot of new dishes, Legends has combined BBQ with the taco. The pulled pork is smoked in-house, and the chipotle slaw gives the taco an insouciant kick.
Buffalo Roasted Cauliflower Bowl
Crisp romaine lettuce topped with sharp cheddar, spiced chickpeas, fire-roasted corn, pickled jalapeños, fresh cilantro and house-made ranch.
Location: Winners Club
Each time we’re presented with a vegetarian dish, I try it grudgingly because, in my role as a journalist, I must understand all perspectives. And each time, I’m pleasantly surprised when something doesn’t taste like cauliflower, which to my knowledge, doesn’t have a taste, and instead tastes like the thing it’s supposed to taste like.
For dessert, we were presented with…
Key Lime Pie Parfait
Key West Key lime cheesecake with graham cracker crust, topped with whipped cream.
Location: Winners Club
Dabney says the parfait even comes in a take-home jar, and the flavor will change during the year.
Then we adjourned to the tasting portion, with a member of the FC Dallas staff lining everything up in a very photogenic way.
Meantime, the staff was hauling out plates of food, asking, “Would you like another hotdog, sir?”
“I’m not made of stone!” I replied.
My picture seems less majestic, but the Texas Monster Dog [pictured above, to the right of the half-eaten Cheesy Chipotle Bacon Foot-Long] was delicious after all, quelling the fear that had been brewing within since the process started. The brisket and chili, combined with the crunchiness of the onion, gave us a variety of different textures.
Perhaps we’ve all had a tough week, and we may be worried about what lies ahead, but if these different varieties of meat can coexist in deliciousness, they can give us hope for the future.
