The last time the Rangers went this deep into the playoffs, I was still getting settled into Texas.
“So you’re saying I’ll get to go to the World Series every year?” I inquired as the Rangers won pennant after pennant.
After my last blog about the Olden Days, an associate reminded me of modern philosopher Ed Helms’ position from The Office.
With that feeling of heartfelt nostalgia bubbling inside all of us, I determined my assignment to shove my microphone in people’s faces would need more nuance. I needed to talk to fans about how they feel… but not just any fans. I needed to go deeper.
You see, the ALCS is taking place entirely in Texas. Whether you’re a Rangers fan or Astros fan, Texas will represent the American League in the World Series.
While I was supposed to be working this week, I conducted exhaustive research showing since Major League Baseball broke into divisions, no other league championship series had taken place entirely in one state.
Sure, we’ve had Subway Series and Bay Area Series and Interstate 70 Series, but those were all World Series.
The ALCS is an entirely Texas event.
“You know who likes talking about Texas?” I thought to myself, sitting back proudly in my chair and nodding. “People watching the cattle drive in the Stockyards.”
Slight hiccup: No one who lives in Fort Worth goes to the Stockyards on a weekday afternoon.
Fort Worth is not similar to New York, but the Stockyards aren’t entirely dissimilar from Times Square: You might visit once if you’ve got family in town, but it’s not a common place for people who live here to hang out [unless you’re there to buy a romantic belt buckle for your lady at Christmas].
I discussed this with a gentleman visiting with his family from Atlanta.
He was a Braves fan and excited to face whichever Texas team because that would have meant Atlanta would have rallied against Philadelphia.
It didn’t work out that way, which is a shame. I would have enjoyed seeing a Texas team beat Atlanta in the World Series.
Loyal Scaiaholics will recall the Braves’ claim of 14 consecutive division titles is fraudulent. Unnerved by meeting a Braves fan, I sought out some Canadians. I found them about a block away. They were from Alberta, but they enjoyed my Montreal Expos cell phone cover.
My search for Texans continued with hilarious irony. The next people I saw were from Minneapolis, and the Twins had just lost to the Astros in the Division Series. The man announcing the cattle drive even interrupted them by wishing good luck to the Rangers.
I did ultimately find some Texans. Oh, listen to this confidence from an Astros fan!
Regardless, both Rangers and Astros fans agreed the ALCS can show the rest of the world what the Stockyards has been doing for years: Texas is the best at everything.
My concern is Major League Baseball appears to be messin’ with Texas. They wouldn’t let Mattress Mack throw out the first pitch because he’s not MLB’s official [this is a real title] “sleep wellness partner.”
Because of this short-sighted ostracism by Major League Baseball, the Scaianalysis Editorial Board is proud to declare Mattress Mack an Honorary 1994 Montreal Expo.
