Loyal Scaiaholics will recall my opposition to things changing. The editorial board here at 1 Scaianalysis Esplanade has been feeling more contemplative lately, and that’s why we have decided to weigh in on Voodoo Doughnuts opening a shop in Dallas.

My first experience with Voodoo Doughnuts was when I lived in Portland. I started out working the overnight shift at the radio station there. The producer of the afternoon show and I would often get into shenanigans which included, but were not limited to, monthly trips to Spirit Mountain Casino where I honed my craft in utilizing a dice control system.

One night, we were talking about Voodoo Doughnuts in the newsroom. The afternoon anchor agreed to stay late so we could go get a box and bring them back.

We found the doughnuts to be delicious, but most doughnuts are delicious. And we learned Voodoo Doughnuts is more about the spectacle than the actual taste of the doughnut.

Voodoo Doughnut should be a treat, an experience, not just something on every corner. Dallas will be their eighth location just in Texas.

Voodoo Doughnut could have learned from In-N-Out Burger. I covered the opening of the first one in Texas back in 2011 when I was still a young buck in his 20s.

I didn’t tweet then. I had to figure out how to turn on a 12 year old laptop just now to find that picture [turns out, you just push the button, similar to today]. But I did seem excited to tell people about other people getting burgers “animal style” because they wanted to sound like they knew something.

While I was there, one woman even wept when she bit into her first In-N-Out right here in Texas, so maybe Voodoo Doughnut is just recognizing an untapped market of people moving from the west coast.

But Voodoo really seems like more of an Austin thing.

I’ve made a habit of going to Voodoo when I land at PDX to bring some doughnuts to my associates in SuperOregon before the rodeo. It is a very particular experience.

You wade through a crowd of homeless people because Portland has determined living in a tent on the sidewalk is your right. Then you stand in line to be let in because the Voodoo Doughnut security guard runs a tight ship.

Then you drive on to SuperOregon where people treat each other right. They help you live your best life. For instance, that’s where I was introduced to chicken fried steak with an insouciant hint of jalapeno in the cream gravy. Keeping with my opposition to things changing, I just learned that restaurant has apparently been closed for quite some time.

In Dallas, instead of having people sleep in tents, shelters work together to urge you to come in, get a check-up, learn a skill and, you know, stop being homeless. I’ve heard the Metro Dallas Homeless Alliance describe their goal of making homelessness “rare, brief and non-recurring” more times than I can count.

It’s like they’re trying to bankrupt the Voodoo Doughnut security guard industry!

But the Voodoo location on Greenville is in a funkier part of Dallas. Lyle from Blazing Saddles served as grand marshal of their St. Patrick’s parade a few years ago.

Perhaps this location will fit in with the neighborhood. Maybe North Texas is funkier than I gave it credit for. Looking back through old pictures, I was reminded the day they announced Lyle would be the grand marshal of the parade, the Incredible Hulk took the oath to become a police officer in Irving.