Normally, Loyal Scaiaholics would turn to me in search of a review of the newest food available at professional sporting events. This year, I stopped at Globe Life Field just before Opening Day but then had to make an unexpected trip to Ohio, then I nearly made an even more unexpected trip to Oklahoma City.

“There aren’t degrees of unexpectedness,” the pilot could well have explained on the intercom. “So we’re goin’ to DFW.”

You can hear part of this discussion. We were flying back during the storms last weekend and had to divert to Oklahoma City to refuel so we’d have enough gas to keep circlin’ DFW. He finally got back on and said we had been cleared to land after all.

“After all this stress, I could use a giant cheeseburger,” we all thought to ourselves.

“I can hook that up,” Delaware North Chef Casey Rapp said.

A NextGen Boomstick is on the menu this year at Globe Life Field:

• The Boomstick Burger: A new take on the iconic 2-foot-long hot dog, this variation features a 2-foot Nolan Ryan Beef patty topped with Texas Chili Company Chili, Rico’s Nacho Cheese and Jalapenos, and Crisp Onion Rings – much like the original Boomstick – and served on a fresh-baked brioche bun. Designed to feed up to four people. Available at the Texas 24″ stand at Section 132 for $34.99.

Rapp explains they were looking for an update to the Boomstick. This even comes in its own attache case. He starts to say this would not make a good Lady and the Tramp situation but then corrects himself as he realizes the two foot cheeseburger can make hearts melt.

• Brisket Croissant: Generous pieces of house-smoked Nolan Ryan Beef Brisket are hand-rolled between layers of buttery croissant dough and baked until golden. Topped with a Sweet Baby Ray’s donut-style glaze. Available at the Sweet Baby Rays stand at Sections 3, 123, and 230 for $9.99.

Rapp and I discussed how flavors collide here. The croissant has a sweetness to it that complements the savory nature of the brisket. He said one of the things that makes Texas great is our ability to bring flavors from different parts of the country together. Knowing I’m from Ohio, he was looking to items more unifying than our chili and suggested we Tex-ify the pierogi.

• Flamin Hot® Cheetos Pretzel: A pillowy soft Bavaria-style sourdough pretzel dipped in Flamin Hot® Cheetos Cheetle and then coated in crushed Flamin Hot® Cheetos. Available at the concession locations at Section 3, 12, 121, 208 and 233 for $8.99.

“They’ll never find another place to hide cheese!” I cry out after each of these events. But ours is a nation of innovators, and instead of hiding the cheese, it’s dusted with Cheetos right on top.

• Pizza Dawwg: A Texas Chili Company All-Angus Beef hot dog topped with marinara, mozzarella cheese and pepperoni – and then baked to bubbly golden perfection. Available at the concession locations at Sections 3, 133 and 214 for $11.99.

Rapp says they’re always looking for something new, but they don’t want to abandon the familiar, either. For people who come to a lot of games, they’ll look for variations of standard ballpark fare to keep providing a new experience.

A complete list of the new items is here. The Rangers are also introducing sentient self-service concessions stands that figure out what Ian Kinsler’s taking.

They walked us all through and invited us to take boxes for a dry run. The shelves know when you take a box and bill you for it.

They had boxed up several different foods for us and set them out there. One of the chefs [for the purposes of this conversation, I’m going to say it’s the guy staring at me looking less than impressed] said not every box had a sample of every item, so he was going to have to insist I take two.

Last year, Hurtado Barbecue was part of “Arlington Eats.” This year, they’ve graduated to a permanent stand at the ballpark. I found out about a third box of food Hurtado was giving out featuring their tacos. What am I, like, not going to get the tacos?!

“You really have to eat the tacos to fully understand the story for the audience,” a photographer from one of the TV stations told me.

For journalism students, a professor once gave me a piece of advice that can benefit you: Get to know the photographers. Reporters tend to roam from city to city; photographers stay in one place, so they actually know what’s going on. I think this is a good case of a photog providing much-needed perspective.

“Plus, the elote is great,” he continued. He was right to say it.

Arlington Eats has a rotation of local restaurants that split time at several stands.

I talked to the owner of one of this year’s restaurants, Prince Lebanese Grill. Aziz Kobty and his sister own the restaurant and talked about how excited they are to join the rotation.

He says Arlington Eats can show people visiting from Boston [with their Dunkin’ Donuts and whatnot] that Texas is about more than just barbecue.

With that in mind, Delaware North is also expanding vegetarian items to include a BLT with a portabella mushroom in place of the B.

But the Texas Rangers aren’t ignoring those who seek out more standard fare. In fact, if you’re bringing your kids to a day at the ol’ ballpark, you can now strap a bucket of popcorn on ’em!

“My annual physical is tomorrow,” I told that same photographer as we were eating.

“Sounds like you should have set up your physical last week,” he explained.

This rundown of new food at Rangers games is a bit late this year, but it can still be useful. You may soon have to physically go to Globe Life Field to see them since this “TeleVision” doesn’t seem to be catching on.