Every time a sports team has me show up to test their new menu, I think, “They’ll never find another place to hide cheese!” And every time, I’m wrong.

FC Dallas has taken the quest in a slightly different direction. Loyal Scaiaholics will recall the team got a new executive chef midseason last year, and she insisted I come to Toyota Stadium to try her new ideas. And by “insisted,” I mean, “the concessions company emailed every reporter in town and invited them to a luncheon.”

But now it’s getting serious. She’s staring her first full season with the team. And as the greatest reporter in Texas, I will always hold concessions chefs accountable for their work.

Erika Dabney is not from Texas, but since coming here, she’s embraced the Texas way. Toyota Stadium now features a concessions stand called, “Everything’s Bigger in Texas.”

She explains that family, flavors and food are bigger here. Consider:

Monster Taco

The descriptions are from Legends:

The famous and scrumptious Monster Taco satisfies all fans’ appetites featuring one pound of barbacoa, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream and hot sauce inside a crispy fried flour shell.

Monster Taco actually first appeared last year, but, obviously, it’s moving to the Everything’s Bigger in Texas stand. Mainly because it also gained Texas-sized attention last year:

“What else can we put in a pizza box?!” the Legends staff asked.

Double Stacked Quesadilla

Four 12” Chipotle tortillas filled infused together with a blend of Monterey Jack cheese and cheddar cheese, stuffed with sautéed peppers and onions, half pound of adobo chicken, half pound of adobo steak and served with fire roasted salsa.

Also at Everything’s Bigger in Texas, Dabney and her team were thinking about how to get more cheese into a standard quesadilla.

“What if, and hear me out here,” one of her staff said during the strategy session playing out in my head. “What if we put cheese in a quesadilla… but then put that quesadilla inside another quesadilla, which is also filled with cheese?”

The other chefs furrowed their brows. Slowly, their confusion turned to acceptance, which then turned into a growing round of applause, ending with a fanfare as the chefs carried the innovator out of the room upon a giant tortilla.

Preparing food in quesadilla form also gives it “walkability,” which is crucial at a ballgame where the whole fam will have a chance to enjoy a triangle of deliciousness.

I’m not entirely sure what “adobo” is, but it helped the chicken and steak pair with the peppers and onions.

Birria Grilled Cheese

Five-hour braised beef short ribs, melted Monterey jack and cheddar slices grilled between two buttered sliced of Texas toast. Served with a side of consommé.

I am also not entirely sure what “birria” or “consumme” are. I’m a man of simple tastes, but Dabney explained patiently, like you’d explain a concept to a toddler, that birria is one of the trendiest dishes.

“So what you’re saying is the Texas Toast provides a crunch, but the beef and melted cheese give a different texture,” I said, trying to sound smart after trying it.

She says they spend a lot of time testing different recipes to find the right combination that will create tastes and textures that might be different but can also complement each other. We also discussed recipe testing in…

Hot Nashville Chicken Mac n Cheese featuring Casa M Spice

Creamy white cheddar mac and cheese, topped with Nashville hot sauce and BBQ spice, finished with fresh green onions and CASA M Chain Reaction spice. 

Location: Stand 5 – Burgers and More, Stand 8- Heineken Corner

We might feel our nation is too divided right now. We might feel our differences are too great. But if Legends can create a world where white cheddar cheese and Nashville hot sauce can coexist with help from an insouciant hint of paprika, perhaps we can all learn our differences can make each other stronger.

Vegan Tenders

Crispy plant-based chicken tenders with house made vegan honey mustard dipping sauce. 

Location: Stand 5 – Burgers and More, Stand 8 – Heineken Corner

Listen, these were good in the sense they didn’t taste vegan, but I feel like Dabney could have spent more time finding out how to triple-up that quesadilla if she hadn’t spent so much time on R&D to make vegan food taste like it has meat. While we were talking about the Vegan Tenders, she even shifted back to the Double Stacked Quesadilla, describing it as the sister of the Monster Taco.

But she doesn’t want to leave people out, bringing us to…

Texas Caviar Salad

Vegan/vegetarian chilled bean and corn salad with apple and cilantro vinaigrette.

Location: Winners Club, Gallagher Club, Stadium Drop, Midfield Market

“What, specifically, does caviar taste like?” a reporter asks.

I still don’t know what caviar tastes like, but Dabney reassured me Texas caviar doesn’t taste like caviar. It’s bolder and more in-your-face.

I regret, now, I didn’t wander over to the dessert table to try Funnel Sticks with Cherry Sauce. I could have used some dessert for the road. I had a busy day when FC Dallas had its food tasting. Some funnel sticks might have been nice while I was sneaking back into a conference on energy at the Bush Institute.

But because this is Texas, where we are innovators and leaders, I will no longer question whether one of our sports franchises will find a new place to put cheese.