My legion of subscribers [and by “legion,” I mean, “Potentially fewer than what you might picture when you think of a Roman legion“] understands if you click on “politics” in the tags cloud, you’ll discover a large number of blogs in which I explain I don’t write about politics.

Having said that, I voted in the Texas primary unlike 82% of you. Early voting has now started in the mid-terms, and I’m going to renew my accusation that while three percent of you have already voted, substantially more than three percent of you are arguing about politics on social media.

But my legion of subscribers also knows #ScaiaBlog is about uniting us, not dividing us. I’d like to think my political leanings do not affect how I report the news. I do participate in the process, and I am not ashamed to spend quite a bit of time trying to frame selfies afterward, starting years ago showing only my “I voted” sticker.

But we’re never done improving ourselves. I’ve modified my selfies to show how we gaze thoughtfully off into the distance after voting to show that we’re proud to have participated but not too proud.

Many of us are exhausted by hyper partisan bickering and the constant barrage of ads. As a man who’s proud to have the opportunity to participate in the process but not too proud, I was discussing this partisanship with several associates. One was upset he was denied the ability to vote in 2020. He hadn’t voted since 2008, so his name had been cleared from the rolls.

He’s now registered again, but he’s not alone. The Texas Secretary of State says less than 79% of the voting age population here was actually registered for the primaries.

TCU Political Science Professor Jim Riddlesperger explains more people will stay home the next two weeks than will actually vote for the winning candidate for governor.

Mike Pence was the Congressman for the district around Ball State when I was livin’ it up in Muncie. I interviewed him once when I worked at the NPR station on campus and asked why he didn’t have rallies on the quad to drum up support among us young’ns. He gave a political answer, but it was an answer I’ve used as a reference in dozens of interviews in the years since, with both Democrats and Republicans agreeing: Pence said he’d get a bigger response at the polls by talking a couple dozen people at a senior center than to a thousand college students because us young’ns don’t vote.

In 2020, Brookings reports 46% of Texas young’ns [Brooking defines a young’n as 18-29 years old] voted, and that was an increase from 39% in 2016. Turnout among people 65 and older, meanwhile, was 75%.

A lot of people may not feel either party represents them completely.

The Founding Fathers didn’t advocate for a two party system. They were worried that would lead to people digging in and [spoilers] identifying each issue along party lines and dividing into factions.

George Washington even picked an opponent to serve in his Cabinet so he could hear different viewpoints.

The editorial board here at 1 Scaianalysis Esplanade also embraces that desire to build coalitions, and we believe many others are exhausted [beleaguered, even] with this hyper-partisanship. Many candidates go far to one side in order to win a primary then have to return to the center for the general election. What if there was a party that embraced the center?!

Those of us who are proud to vote in mid-terms, primaries and primary run-offs are proud [but not too proud] to announce the No Jerks Party.

Modern philosophers Zager and Evans wondered if, in the year 2525, man would still be alive.

They foresaw our increased reliance on machines and cautioned against falling into traps that would stop us from thinking independently, but the No Jerks Party is one of hope. We would embrace the center and its creamy nougat filling.

One of the No Jerks Party platforms would be in support of free speech. We would only add to that:

“Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom of speech. We just think maybe before you post an angry political article, Facebook and Twitter should require to you to watch a Traveling Wilburys video first. ‘End of the Line’ would be an excellent choice to help you relax a bit and counterbalance that Zager and Evans song.” Then we’d get the video embedded into the Bill of Rights somehow.

Instead of consultants constantly whipping politicians to stay on message, the No Jerks Party would just start loudly playing “Handle with Care” to drown out a public relations person trying to tell a reporter he or she can only ask approved questions.

Handle with Care would also start playing to drown out media outlets reporting about a new poll showing Ol’ So and So is now one point closer to Ol’ What’s His Name than the same poll last week, neither of which will accurately reflect the results of the actual election.

The No Jerks Party would also gently encourage fewer campaign texts.

Perhaps the central platform of the No Jerks Party is that we should always set goals to keep improving ourselves. I, for instance, heard people were getting limited edition “I voted” pins at the American Airlines Center during the last presidential election, so I altered my sticker.

But you can never have enough options to let people know you’ve voted, and I kept working toward a goal. I don’t even live in Dallas County, but I was covering a later election at the AAC, and a poll worker just walked up and offered a pin.

That’s revolutionized the way I take selfies when I get back to the car. The No Jerks Party will usher in a new era allowing all of us to look thoughtfully into the distance because we’ll realize we’re not alone anymore.