Each year, I relax a bit in Super Oregon. Loyal Scaiaholics will recall my penchant for returning for the rodeo.

Flying into Portland, I took a picture of the mountains as they appeared on the approach. I explained to the lady sitting next to me, who hadn’t asked, that I take a similar picture every year.

“When I’m sitting on the other side of the plane, I take a picture of Mount Hood,” I continued. “This year, it’s Mt. St. Helens… and the other one.”

“Oh, that’s right,” she admirably participated in the conversation. “On clear days, you can see five mountains from Portland.

“Which one is that?” she asked her husband, who had been minding his own business.

“Let me think,” he said. “I know it’s not Rainier.”

By the end of this episode, most of first class was involved. The Three Sisters were too far south, we reasoned, and Rainier is too far north. Ultimately, we settled on Mt. Adams.

Hermiston is about a 3 hour drive from Portland.

It’s possible I’ve become accustomed to red light cameras in Texas that don’t actually mean anything. I realized the cameras in Oregon and Washington might still send tickets… a bit late. If the rental company sends $500,000 in red light invoices my way, I think it’s only fair to rename Interstate 82 the “Alan Scaia Freeway” in honor of my donation.

When I arrived, my first boss helped me relax by shoving me on the air for their highly rated Odds and Ends, which I hosted back in the olden days. I was pleasantly surprised to hear they still use the same theme music. In 18 years, no one appears to have noticed it’s Kurt Angle’s walk-up music.

I do have one quibble: GoHermiston.com appears to still have the previous week’s show. Perhaps they were worried my appearance would lead to so many hits, it would paralyze their server.

But then on to the rodeo.

The announcer knows his audience. During the bull riding competition, every rider was bucked. Recognizing many of us came from Texas, he explained the cowboys in Pendleton may be having trouble, but “they still have better chances than the Dallas Cowboys going to the Super Bowl.”

Even people in Oregon know the scam. The Seattle Seahawks have won a Super Bowl more recently, after all.

The announcer, when someone had a good run in one of the other events, then said, “I love it when a plan comes together.”

I was sitting next to one of the young’ns in our group.

“What does that mean?” he asked. I introduced him to the work of George Peppard. So the Round-Up announcer is also performing a public service by introducing a new generation to The A-Team.

Loyal Scaiaholics will also recall, as the group walks to the arena, I’ll be peer-pressured into buying a new hat. I brought it on myself this year, though, by leaving my hat in Fort Worth. I’ve got an impressive collection of hats to wear exactly once a year at an event 1,500 miles from home, so I needed something different. But was I ready to wear a dark hat? The bad guy wears dark hats.

We may live in a divided time. Many people may feel hopeless. But let’s focus on the positive:

1.) I was too worried about the hat looking evil. In fact, it makes me look more rugged than ever.

2.) At one point, someone passing in front of me in the stands accidentally knocked my beer off the bench… and the beer landed on the ground right side up, spilling only a few drops. Remember that, long suffering Cowboys fans: things may seem bleak, but all is not lost.