“How do we get people to stop arguing about COVID?” the marketing consultant in the red tie asked the marketing consultant in the blue tie. “And start arguing about our product?”

“COVID is certainly buzz-worthy. I’d love to get to that level of brand recognition,” the marketing consultant in the blue tie responded, leaning forward. “What if, and hear me out, what if we rolled out the pumpkin spice, like, right now?!”

The marketing consultant in the red tie leaned back.

“I’d be a fool to argue with that logic,” he exhaled.

Loyal Scaiaholics will recall my complicated history with pumpkin spice.

I was filling in for the morning show producer at the last station and had wandered into a 7/Eleven while it was still dark out. It was a cool, autumn morning. At the risk of editorializing, I’d even go so far as to call it “brisk.”

“Anything goes at 3 a.m.!” I declared and decided to get a pumpkin spice latte instead of a Mountain Dew.

“I hate that flavor and I grew apart,” I thought to myself, appreciating the wordplay with “fall” instead of “autumn”. But now, Big Pumpkin is trying to shove itself down our throat while it’s still summer.

Associates are arguing, and much like politics, totally changing each other’s minds on social media about whether it’s too early for pumpkin spice.

This, however, is a blog of unity.

I understand the anti-summer-pumpkin-spice contingent. Just the other day, I was discussing IPA season with associates. An IPA is best enjoyed in late spring, when the weather starts to warm up and you want something lighter than the stouts of winter. A complete guide to beer seasons [or “saisons,” if you will] is available here.

But I also understand why many of us would like some pumpkin spice. I learned when I drank that latte, “pumpkin spice” doesn’t mean the thing will taste like pumpkin. There’s never been anything close to a pumpkin in it. “Pumpkin spice” means “the spices you put in a pumpkin pie.”

Perhaps Big Pumpkin isn’t trying to force itself on us. Perhaps it’s just trying to help us feel better.

We’re at a point in this pandemic where the FDA is actually having to explain that we are not horses and warning us not to use horse drugs to treat COVID.

So Big Pumpkin is rushing its product to market. Maybe skipping ahead in time is an excellent idea. We need a pick-me-up. Pumpkin spice reminds us of simpler times when we used to try new caffeine delivery systems on a whim.

In addition to making us feel ready for autumn, pumpkin spice is giving us something different to argue about after a year and a half.

With the isolation and uncertainty of the pandemic, paired with social and political upheaval, I would argue pumpkin spice’s early arrival can bring comfort.

We could even take it a step further: Society could use a Christmas cookie, like, right now.

But not eggnog. It’s too hot for eggnog. You have to draw the line somewhere.