I’ve now been blogging about COVID-19 for about a year and a half. As a society, we’ve used that time to argue constantly, and totally change each other’s minds, about whether masks are useful tools to prevent the spread of COVID-19 or the worst thing that’s ever happened in life. Remember the Cuban Missile Crisis? Masks are worse.
Remember when it was funny? When we bought all the toilet paper and then made fun of each other for buying all the toilet paper? Oh, what good times those were.
It may not be quite as funny anymore, but Patton Oswalt does make a droll point:
Patton Oswalt may not be completely on the nose, though. To convince people to get the polio vaccine, Big Brother even had to bring out Elvis to convince people to get it.
Three different associates who don’t know each other and say they do not plan to get the vaccine have used the phrase, “my body, my choice.”
My response to them has been two fold:
- Two wrongs don’t make a right. I double checked.
- If there’s some secret society where people meet to hash out talking points and then also rebuttals to those talking points, I want in. If necessary, I am willing to wear a hilarious robe and hat.
Elected officials are getting antsy, too.
Loyal Scaiaholics will recall I went to college in Indiana. I didn’t go to Purdue, but the mayor of West Lafayette is gaining some attention after calling unvaccinated people an expletive.
“I lost my temper at a council meeting here recently, and I referenced them as ‘unvaccinated assholes,’ and unfortunately, that sometimes is accurate. That’s true,” he really did say.
A public relations firm would probably like to sit him down for some coaching. I am not a coach. Instead, I am a Ball State graduate, a university that brings people together.
As such, I may not be a licensed physician, but I’m almost positive the virus doesn’t check if you’re a Republican or Democrat before it crawls under your skin and lays eggs [Note from the medical community: Scaia is most definitely not a physician, and that’s not how viruses work. We double checked]. So I’m not sure why Republicans and Democrats keep suing each other over the virus.
Maybe we should be suing the virus itself. But then the virus hires Robert Shapiro and the whole thing turns into a circus.
We may feel divided as a nation right now, but what if we looked instead at how much we have in common? Maybe we’re all weary of the governor and Dallas County administrative judge suing each other. And surely we can all enjoy Big Texas getting psyched about speeches from elected officials and hospital executives!
I’d like to suggest Dr. Fauci start having Big Tex stand behind him when he makes an announcement to get the crowd pumped.
Instead of constantly berating each other, let’s instead focus on what can bring us together. We could turn this into a pandemic… of love. The virus wouldn’t stand a chance against something tougher than diamonds and rich like cream.
I bring that up because I do not intend to miss another rodeo. I emailed associates back in SuperOregon the other day to start talking about this year’s Round-Up. There’s talk about restrictions again because of a bunch of cases at a music festival.
I will vaccinate those bulls myself if I have to.
