This weekend, the Texas Rangers start their second home stand of 2021. Major League Soccer’s FC Dallas also begins its season with a match in Frisco.

Loyal Scaiaholics will recall how seriously I take the task of tasting new dishes served by our professional sports teams.

But this year, teams held back on those preview events. I’ve made do with the Dallas Cowboys just bringin’ some food over to the house.

The Rangers finally could have fans over to the new ballpark. They even invited the governor to throw out the first pitch. He declined.

I sent that letter to an associate who works for a news station in Atlanta. Regardless of how you feel politically, we agreed the closing line would have been stronger with, “This decision does not diminish the deep respect I have for the Texas Rangers baseball organization, which is outstanding from top to bottom… except, c’mon, trading Elvis Andrus within your division? What is this, amateur hour?!”

“You didn’t offer the All-Star game, but we didn’t want it anyway,” the letter would continue. “I mean, the umpires missed a call at third in Game 6, so Nelson Cruz should never have been in a situation to miss that fly ball anyhow.”

At the company Christmas party back in 2019, I won tickets to Opening Day. Then 2020 was cancelled. Not just Opening Day. Society was cancelled also.

My boss was good enough to invite me back to Opening Day this year. As a stalwart employee, I invited a coworker and also an associate who works for the competition.

“Now, I wish they had limited attendance,” 38,000 fans all thought in unison as we waited in line.

But this gave me time to observe. For instance, one gentleman was wearing an “A-Roid” jersey.

“Why would you go to this trouble to pay for a Rangers jersey, then label it with an insult to a player you dislike?” I asked. “That doesn’t seem like a strong investment.”

“Don’t you have a closet full of memorabilia from a team that doesn’t exist anymore?” an associate replied. “And don’t you keep adding to it?”

He’s right: Once we get all get vaccinated, that Montreal Expos glassware will be great at parties. You’d also be surprised how often I use those Back to the Future tumblers. You really would.

One of the associates at the game is a fellow umpire. Naturally, we started talking about how, when we were back in school in Florida, we’d get whipped with, “Those play-by-play guys don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s not a foul pole. It’s in fair territory. It is a fair pole.”

You’ll be shocked to hear discussions about fair and foul poles are not, in most cases, a hit at parties.

But we noticed the fair pole has a new sponsor. The cows of Chick-Fil-A are no longer poisoning us with inaccurate pole propaganda.

Major League Soccer, meanwhile, doesn’t deal with poles. They deal with cards. Today, I talked with the president of FC Dallas ahead of their opener Saturday against Colorado. The Rangers opened to a full house on Opening Day, but FC Dallas will stay at 50% for at least their first four matches.

FC Dallas plans to reevaluate as the season moves on and recommendations might change.

We’ve all got cabin fever right now and are excited to see things change for the better. I’ve been anti-Atlanta since high school, so listen MLB, I’m available to throw out first pitches. I think you’ll find my rate quite competitive.