Doctors and nurses are too good to call us idiots. That’s how we got the phrase, “COVID fatigue,” so they can gently inform us that wearing a mask without your nose tucked in doesn’t, technically, perform the functions of a “mask.”
Today, the Dallas COVID czar, a position that really exists, explained that doctors and nurses love and appreciate all the cards, well wishes and being called a hero, but you know what they’d appreciate most of all? If you did the stuff they told you to do.
“But Alan, you ruggedly handsome scamp,” some of you are screaming while shaking your fist at the computer. “Masks are a slight inconvenience and, therefore, tyranny!”
I understand. Doctors have been tyrannically telling me to lose weight for years and, just between us, I’m still a bit heavy.
But eight months ago today, the mayor of Dallas says the city council started debating the local disaster declaration, and, “Here we are today, eight months later, and we are still under that exact same local state of disaster.”
Several associates are nurses. They talk about working long hours and the additional stress of on top of a job that was already quite stressful. One even posted this pro-tip that can help everyone struggling with the tyranny of wearing a mask: “Wear fun smelling Chapstick in your mask.”
The COVID czar feels a lot of ways about this. Treatment is improving, and a vaccine could arrive by spring, but he talked about how if we keep with social distancing and wearing masks now, that’ll get a lot more people to spring.
He explained “stay on guard” is not just a slogan, but it’s necessary now so we can go back to living [and, at the risk of editorializing, livin‘ it up] next year. Things are getting serious: Mama Scaia is threatening to cancel Christmas because cases are so out of control in Ohio.
Also, in slightly more substantial news, North Texas is running out of ICU beds and the mayor of Fort Worth has tested positive.
Remember when we used to argue about immigration and pronouns?! If we follow the rules the COVID czar laid out [He is a czar after all. He can make it so you were never born.], we can get back to that.
