Loyal Scaiaholics will recall last week, when I explained how my pick-up truck, 15 years old and a stalwart representative of American know-how, logged its 200,000 mile.

Rolls-Royce of North America found this unacceptable.

Loyal Scaiaholics will also recall I’ve taken some $250,000 cars for a test drive.

Rolls-Royce of North America also found this unacceptable.

They called me up and demanded I test drive a $420,000 Rolls-Royce Ghost.

The Rolls-Royce Ghost will be available in 2021, and only 13 are in the United States.

When we got in, one of the first things I did was reach out to close my door. My guide stopped me and explained we do not close our own doors. I’d been doing that for years. Like a caveman.

The first thing we did, and I swear I’m not making this up, is we went to 7/Eleven.

That drive of a few blocks gave him a chance to show me some of the gadgets on board.

Among the gadgets is, and I apologize for my use of technological terms, was some sort of thing where cameras could, like, point at you from different directions.

“How do they have a picture from above?” a reporter asks.

He explained it in a way that made sense [there apparently is not a drone that follows you], with different angles triangulating a signal. In that video above, he even showed the cameras could figure out, in real time, if he stuck his arm out the window.

At this point, he welcomed me to get behind the wheel for a test drive.

In the McLaren situation, the public relations folk enjoyed a hearty laugh when I asked if they still wanted me to take it for a drive even though I was fired from my last job, not the first time I wrecked a station car, but the second time.

But the public relations folk weren’t in the car this time. When I whipped Gerry Spahn with Rolls-Royce with that rich comment, he encouraged me to aim for a pothole, just so I could see how the car handled it.

“These are Dallas roads,” he cautioned. “So it may not absorb everything.”

One of the reasons for the name, Ghost, is it’s described as “post-opulent.” Spahn said a lot of people want to dial back the in-your-face-itude [it’s possible he did not use that exact term] of the exterior. The Ghost, in addition to the doors opening and closing at the push of a button, can also retract its hood ornament at the push of a button.

But the car still maintains the luxury in the interior that its buyers would expect. For example, the Ghost has a powerful V12 engine, but that’s only to help you feel the leather seats.

The car somehow knows the current speed limit and shines the speed limit on the windshield in front of the driver along with your current speed, which turns orange when you’re a few miles over and then red.

I learned this by speeding for the benefit of you, the consumer. Spahn explained it wasn’t my fault. The Ghost is simply too smooth a ride to notice, and I’d have been happy to explain that to a police officer if we’d been stopped.

To compare the Ghost to my pick-up truck, he explained that Ghost is built to be adaptable to new technology instead of having to shove USB ports into 15 year old cars for people who want to rock out to some BTO.

In conclusion, I’m brash, and the Rolls-Royce absorbed me, so I’d say mission accomplished.