Tonight, Fort Worth ISD will host a city-wide graduation celebration for the class of 2020. As a man who graduated in the elite top 75 percent of his high school class, I can understand the importance of a celebration like this.
The Fort Worth superintendent explained that kids can benefit from a hootenanny [it’s possible he did not use the term, “hootnanny”] to show their hard work in the face of adversity will pay off. It just happens one of the buildings that will light up in gold belongs to a company that just announced plans to shut down. Loyal Scaiaholics will recall I’ve covered Fort Worth’s focus on education in past with in depth coverage of C. Everett Koop.
Dallas did the same thing a few weeks ago. Their superintendent, Downer McDownerson, explained to me this generation [which will be known as Generation F’it–I’m Gettin’ a Drink] was born right after the September 11 attacks, so they’ve only known air travel where they get felt up by a TSA agent, two separate economic meltdowns and a pandemic that makes video games about pandemics seem less fun.
Students at three schools in Dallas had already been displaced by the tornadoes, so it’s not as though kids at Thomas Jefferson High School would have held graduation there anyway. They had to finish up a few miles away at Edison Learning Center, where Rangers Captain welcomed them on their first day.
But let’s not diminish the importance of education, of life experience. That’s something Generation F’it–I’m Gettin’ a Drink has in spades! As such, in the coming years, you’ll learn better than anyone the joy of drowning your sorrows in alcohol [Note from the education community: Do not drown your sorrows in alcohol].
I was in college during the September 11 attacks. My memory of that morning is stumbling out of bed and becoming flummoxed as I walked down the hall to the showers. Between my room and the bathroom were a couple rooms where the smell of a certain drug frequently wafted into the hall. While I walked by, one of the gentleman poked his head out and yelled across the hall, “Hey, man, you watchin’ CNN?”
He looked at me and continued, “It’s [f’ed] up.”
“I’m not sure what might have prompted them to turn on CNN, but I’m becoming terrified,” I thought to myself. I found out when I got back to my room and saw my professors had all cancelled class and turned on the television. “That is [f’ed] up,” I continued, also to myself.
And yea, I learned the best option is to get a drink [Note from the education community: Do not get a drink]. It’s something we’re all learning right now. I’ve done stories on how bars are figuring out ways to support their hourly workers.
In the UK, one bar has developed a tactical beer response unit to bring the beer to the barfly. Also in the UK, another bar brought a keg to one of its best customers.
Maybe that’s the lesson for Generation F’it–I’m Gettin’ a Drink: Alcohol can bring us together and can spark ingenuity. We can forget about this COVID-19 rigmarole [or “hullabaloo,” if you will], even if just for a few minutes, and enjoy some down time, getting to know each other better and looking out for each other.
In conclusion, I graduated cum laude from Ball State, so I turned things around. Let that be a lesson, young’ns headed off to college: Go ahead and slack off in high school. You’ll totally turn it around in college. I’m available for graduation speeches, Fort Worth ISD. I think you’ll find my fee quite affordable. [Note from the education community: Do not slack off in high school]
