Back in aught-five, I had settled into Hermiston, SuperOregon. Recent College Graduate Scaia was longing for a new adventure. Growing up in the heart of the Cincinnati-Dayton corridor and visiting family in New York and New England as a young’n, I was ready to get away from it all.

Ironically, I got restless being away from it all.

Even more ironically, I now look back with fond memories. Now that I live in the big city, I often think about how nice it is to go back and visit the small town, where everyone’s not in such a hurry, and we all treat each other right.

I have noticed, though, when I go back to visit, more and more hipsters are showing up from StandardOregon and opening bistros.

The Pacific Northwest is split on the issue of crowds. That’s one of the issues that led to the StandardOregon/SuperOregon divide. Before Portland became a cool place for hipsters to make donuts, Oregon was a place that didn’t care for outsiders.

A governor from back in the ’60s and ’70s led the push to make the state a leader in environmental causes and also become a leader in social distancing before it was cool.

His position was you’re welcome to visit Oregon,  spend some money and then, maybe, head back home.

That brings us to Bozeman, Montana.

While I’m concerned hipsters are invading a town I haven’t lived in for 15 years, Bozeman is worried people are going to start showing up because they’re afraid of catching COVID-19 in a big city.

Bozeman had already lived through its moment in the sun during an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon, much like other city dwellers, was looking for an escape.

While I was restless, I would regularly traverse large distances, driving 250 miles to a Seahawks game in Seattle. I once drew the scorn of a colleague in Hermiston by driving 375 miles to Missoula, Montana for some reason. I declared I was making the trip to attend a party and see some associates from my baseball days. Looking back now, though, the main reason was probably so I could say I’ve been to Montana.

Montana is, after all, the original Big Scai Country. They just spell it wrong.

I feel Bozeman’s concern. If people start showing up and crowding around, the city stops being a quaint, out-of-the-way place and starts becoming the place that’s overrun because it used to to a quaint, out-of-the-way place. There will be bistros everywhere. People will flock to Bozeman for its off-the-beat-path reputation so they can write manifestos.  Sheets of yellowed parchment will litter the streets.

Look what happened to Bend! [People in Oregon totally get that.]