This may come as a shock, but I’m not actually trained as a physician. Having said that, a tweet by a reporter at CNN caught my eye today.

“Jesus is my vaccine” is one of the more colorful messages here. pic.twitter.com/vw5qolIlHC

— Miguel Marquez (@miguelmarquez) April 20, 2020

Listen, protestors, I’ve been battling cabin fever, too. This past weekend, I bandanned-up and went to the store to buy a six pack of Shiner to bring to a cook-out with fewer than six associates.

The woman in the check out line asked to see my drivers license, so even after this ends, I may keep the bandanna to highlight my youthful elan. She also said it was one of the more creative facial coverings she’d seen. I asked if she was worried I was headed out to rob a train. She smiled. Politely. Like when a six year old tells you a joke.

The weekend before that, though, I didn’t have much to do. Even though I skew introvert, I found myself battling cabin fever, so I went to the QT a couple miles away to get a soda and a candy bar. I even had to look back at old blogs to make sure I hadn’t told the QuikTrip story before.

And while working from home this morning, I noticed both Michael Jordan and Harrisburg, Pennsylvania were trending on Twitter. After checking to make sure Jordan had not died, I inspected the source of the Harrisburg tweets.

Harrisburg is best known as the city my family would drive through when my brothers and I were younger, and we went to visit family in Connecticut. When we passed through Harrisburg, we’d crane our necks down the Susquehanna to try to see Three Mile Island. Harrisburg is also (and with less notoriety) the capital of Pennsylvania.

Today, though Harrisburg is the latest site of people protesting stay-at-home or shelter-in-place or safer-at-home or whatever your local elected officials call the order.

The Greatest Generation stormed the beaches of Normandy to end tyranny and the Holocaust. We argue over pronouns and whether we should stay at home to prevent the spread of viruses.

Regardless of politics, Patton Oswalt makes a strong point, everyone.

Anne Frank spent 2 years hiding in an attic and we’ve been home for just over a month with Netflix, food delivery & video games and there are people risking viral death by storming state capital buildings & screaming, “Open Fuddruckers!”

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) April 18, 2020

If you happened to grow up some denomination of Christian, you may have heard the story about the guy who ignored news reports that he should evacuate a flood, ignored neighbors who told him to leave, refused the police who came by with a motorboat and refused the fire department when they tried to rescue him with a rope ladder when the water got so high, he had to go on the roof.

Each time, he said, “God will save me.”

When he drowned and got to Heaven, he asked God why He hadn’t saved him. God replied, “I sent a news crew, your neighbors, the police and the fire department. What were you waiting for?!”

Jesus is surely working through the people developing a vaccine, but He likely does not carry much medicinal value himself at this time.

Listen, protesters, we all want to get back outside. My company stock is hovering right around a dollar a share. Cheap gas was awesome before it became a sign that no one has anyplace to go. We all face uncertain futures.

But you can use this free time for good. Get closer with your family. Bandanna-up and bring a six pack of Shiner to a friend’s house. Learn more about each other.

Maybe you could use this time to figure out how many degrees you are from Kevin Bacon.

Let me explain: Revisiting the Michael Jordan sitaution, a Facebook associate just posted about how he used to work for the Chicago Bulls. A classmate pointed out:

Alter High School –> Classmate who worked for the Bulls –> Michael Jordan –> Bill Murray [Space Jam] –> Kevin Bacon [Wild Things] 

My classmates and I are only four degrees from Kevin Bacon. I would not have learned that if I weren’t spending more time at home.