April 1, 2020
Darling LuLuBell,
It has been nearly 48 hours since my last correspondence. But even while cut off from society, my mission continues.
I’ve spent, lo, these past 48 hours screening new television shows to help my self-quarantined Scaiaholics learn how to best pass the time.
Yesterday I issued an executive order that goes into effect at midnight tonight that requires all Texans to stay home unless you’re performing an essential service or activity.
We must continue to respond to the challenge #COVID19 with strength and resolve. pic.twitter.com/xiCURPQZnf
— Greg Abbott (@GregAbbott_TX) April 1, 2020
Of course, the governor’s order still keeps drive-thru and carry-out restaurants open. We can still go to grocery stores or go hunting. But we cannot go to the salon or the gym.
Frankly, LuLuBell, not going to the gym is where I’m a viking. But I understand that people are getting cabin fever. Apparently, the Malaysian prime minister’s old lady is really getting on his nerves.
We can still trek to liquor stores, though.
Just as Lewis Clark were educated about the land and the people who, technically, already lived there on their trip to Oregon, I am being educated about the availability of liquor.
The other night, I was in Dallas. While driving home, I was looking forward to getting some pictures of Reunion Tower.
Reunion Tower’s right, everyone: We WILL get through this. https://t.co/lEms6g9yA1
— Alan Scaia (@scaia) April 1, 2020
On the way home, the traffic on Riverfront Boulevard caught my eye.
“Maybe Fuel City is running a deal on tacos,” I thought to myself. “I’d be a fool to miss that. #blessed.”
Darling LuLuBell, is it weird if I think in hashtags to myself?
But no, there was no line at Fuel City. The line of cars was trying to get into Daiquiris to Go.
You might think a drive-thru daiquiri joint seems like a contradiction.
Back home in Ohio, we have drive-thru shops that sell beer and wine, but you can’t buy hard alcohol.
In Oregon, where you were dinner one night about 15 years ago, LuLuBell, people were taken aback that you could even stop for beer at a drive-thru in Ohio, suggesting that might be a conflict of interest.
In Texas, you buy daiquiris in bucket form, ready to let ‘er rip.
But some associates questioned why I had gone all the way to Dallas for drive-thru daiquiris.
“I wasn’t actually in Dallas for daiquiris,” I explained to them, LuLuBell. “I just pulled off after another eve–wait, we have drive-thru daiquiris in Fort Worth?!”
Turns out, there’s a drive-thru daiquiri joint just a few miles from the Ol’ Scaia Place.
Let that be a lesson to kids who are out of school for the next month: You’re never too old to learn something new.
In conclusion, I like the idea of Reunion Tower having become sentient and “liking” one of my tweets.
Scaia
