As we’ve done literally [and by “literally,” I mean, “figuratively, like, once in the past five years“] every year, the editorial board at 1 Scaianalysis Esplanade has taken a look back at the most substantial issues of the year and presented updates to you, the literally dozens of people who read this blog daily.

But our society is knockin’ on the door of the Roaring 20s. There will be speakeasies and flappers everywhere. I think I’ll fit right in with a rootin’, tootin’ new decade. For instance, many people will argue that the new decade actually begins next year.

“Ah, cram it,” I’ll root and toot. “What are you, a sun dial?”

Just last month, I wrote about spotting an Expos fan at Dealey Plaza. When the Nationals won the World Series in the 25th anniversary season of the Expos being robbed, my position was Montreal should start selling memorabilia because this was their franchise and their Series. I’m now proud to say I’m sporting some memorabilia to celebrate the Expos’ World Series championship. If anyone wants in on this situation, I got a guy.

In March, I wrote about Alex Trebek’s cancer diagnosis. Since then, because I get off work at noon and have nothing better to do during the afternoon, I’ve watched a lot of game shows. In one case, I texted a video of Final Jeopardy to one of the associates in that first blog.

The answer was:

Damage from Hurricane Matthew in this city in 2016 revealed a plot of colonist graves from perhaps as long as 430 years ago

One of the contestants wrote, “What is Houston?”

Trebek’s anti-Houston agenda has finally come out! The category was “Historic American Cities,” and he declared Houston “doesn’t meet the criteria.”

Oh, excuse me, Trebek. Sure, Houston didn’t meet the criteria, but that was because it wasn’t, if we’re being honest with each other, hit by Hurricane Matthew. There’s plenty of history there. But he’s also struggling more and more with cancer, so I say we give him a pass. Living this diagnosis in the public eye, he’s been very direct, and that may help someone else dealing with the same problem.

Also in game shows, however, an episode of Family Feud will not receive a pass. Guests were asked to “name a fruit a teenager might practice the art of kissing on.”

“A watermelon?!” I exclaimed at the TV, causing the neighbors to become concerned and call the police. “Watermelons aren’t fruit! Anyone who’s spent time in SuperOregon, the Watermelon Capital of the United States, knows that because they have to be planted annually, a watermelon is technically a vegetable!”

Surely, Family Feud‘s horticulturalist was fired over that blunder.

In June, I took up the issue of gas prices. By November, though, prices had moderated. I was several minutes late to work one morning because I saw gas that was several miles away was just $2.15! I’m sure management loved that.

In September, I wrote about Marty Brennaman’s retirement from the Cincinnati Reds broadcast booth. That led to a discussion of his work with Joe Nuxhall. Nuxhall would sign off each broadcast with the phrase, “This is the old left-hander, rounding third and headed for home.”

Are closing lines still a thing? If so, I may start workshopping some lines to use on the radio. I may start signing out of reports with, “This is Alan Scaia, the stratosphere is reserved for you and me.” I’m sure management would love that, also.

Surely, that would make the 20s roar.