A total of 30 families and small businesses entered 49 items into this year’s Big Tex Choice Awards. This morning, the State Fair of Texas announced the ten finalists.

Loyal Scaiaholics will recall my mixed emotions about the Big Tex Choice Awards, but that’s actually become a part of my questioning of the finalists. As a journalist, I must never lose sight of my duty to hold concessionaires to account. I didn’t go to Fair Park and taste each finalists this morning for me. I did that for you.

Among the finalists in this year’s Savory category are the Southern Fried Chicken Alfredo Ball:

I’ll be live on @KRLD at 7:10 to talk about the finalists for the Big Tex Choice Awards. Chicken Fried Fettuccine Ball is in Savory category. “Rustic Italian Flavors are treated to our Southern hospitality.” I’m going to start telling people that when they ask about my last name. pic.twitter.com/XBNSDYUwu5

— Alan Scaia (@scaia) August 14, 2019

We’re in a difficult political climate right now, but let me tell you something: I never imagined I’d live to see the day when my love for fettuccine would be united with my love of dishes that are chicken-fried.

Others in the Savory category include Texas Cream Corn Casserole, where the developer had to not only combine the different flavors into one but also invent a term to describe why it tastes good. During his introduction, the State Fair of Texas described the dish as “frittery.” I felt compelled, nay, obliged to ask the founder, Clint Probst, about the term.

Some of the finalists submit entries every year. Over time, they’ve gained an understanding that if you want to sell something at the State Fair of Texas, it needs to be “walkable,” so Ruth’s Stuffed Fried Mexi-Cone is served in an ice cream cone, but instead of ice cream, it’s filled with your essential daily barbacoa. I’m also told it’s not an actual ice cream cone, it’s an “ice cream cone-shaped tortilla shell.”

Fernie’s Burnt End Burrito is billed as the pinnacle [the pinnacle!] of barbecue combined with everyone’s favorite spicy appetizer. I also appreciate how they got “slathered” into the dish’s official bio:

“Starts with a large flour tortilla slathered with a jalapeno popper spread of cream cheese, savory bacon, Mexican blend cheese, and mildly spicy diced jalapenos. Next we add a layer of pepper jack and finish with a generous helping of smoky nuggets of pure barbecue gold burnt ends!”

Rounding out the Savory category is the Calypso Island Shrimp Bowl, whose official bio includes both the terms, “succulent” and “tantalizing.” It’s also “herbaceous.”

The State Fair of Texas reports this is the first finalist with seafood as a main ingredient since 2017.

My pledge to you is to include a remarkably detailed list of stats at the end of this blog.

But first, to the Sweet finalists!

The Quick Fried “Black Gold” Truffle is a dish of contrast. When I tried it, I tasted the cookies mixed together with cream cheese on the inside. But I simply couldn’t place the tastes on the outside. I thought I was getting an insouciant hint of vanilla.

But it was actually cinnamon hitting me with its insouciance. The vanilla is just from some wafers that coat the truffle.

I’m not sure why, but I didn’t think to take a picture of Fla’Mango Tango, so this is the official State Fair of Texas publicity shot.

This is another dish of contrast. Perhaps I was focused on how the different presentations of mango work together. And the Garza family politely said, “Yeah.”

Loyal Scaiaholics understand my complicated relationship with sorbet.

The Peanut Butter Cup Snookie may seem simple enough. It’s a cookie topped with ice cream, caramel, whipped cream and a cherry.

“Scaia, you handsome devil,” you’re shouting at your computer screen. “What’s State-Fair-of-Texas-Special about that?!”

What if I told you a peanut butter cup was baked into the cookie?

The Deep Fried Bayou Fruit Bite takes something nutritious and fries it to a golden brown.

It’s also drizzled with caramel sauce. A lot of these dishes are drizzled with various sauces. I’d like to suggest that members of both political parties drizzle themselves with caramel sauce when they return from August recess. I think they’d get along much better.

Big Red Chicken Bread is designed, I swear, to illustrate a chicken wing that has gone tubing in New Braunfels. The tube, in this case, is a doughnut that tastes like Big Red and is frosted with Big Red icing.

“Basically, what we’ve got is a chicken wing that’s floating the river. If you’re floating the river, you’ve gotta have sunglasses, right? The chicken wing’s gotta have glasses! And you’ve gotta have Big Red,” the brothers who developed this dish really did explain to me.

They continued, “If we can incorporate fried chicken into something, we think we’re winning.” That’s another possible strategy for our legislature.

The State Fair of Texas will choose winners for best tasting in the sweet and savory categories later this month along with a “Most Creative” award.

First, though, some stats that the record-keepers at the State Fair of Texas handed out this morning. These are both true and interesting:

— This is the first time in four years no entries include the word, “bacon.”

— Seven of the ten finalists involve frying at least a portion of their entry.

— Only five of the ten finalists have the word, “fried,” in their titles this year.

— Chocolate has never been the main ingredient of a winning dish, but fruit has won four times.

— Chicken has been listed as the main ingredient in at least one finalist entry every year since 2014, but chicken has only won once: Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack, 2011. [An aside: our lawmakers may also get along better if they were nestled in a flapjack.]