Today, Collin Creek Mall shut its doors one last time. No one, you see, was going to the mall because it’s no longer the 1980s.

The iconic development at the corner of 75 and Bush Turnpike will give way to a different iconic development over the next six years [But JC Penney is staying open!].

I went to the farewell party the other night. The party included an 80s band, which, I’m sorry to say, didn’t play even one Traveling Wilburys tune. The set list writes itself!

I went back today to talk to people who wanted to make one last trip. Most of the stores were closed, but they talked about wanting to stop by one last time with their kids and relive the mall’s glory years.

Other people there today said they were glum because it was their last chance [I swear] to mall-walk. Everyone said this was the place to be in the 1980s.

I had actually never gone to Collin Creek Mall until the farewell party, but we have malls back home in Ohio that are trying to stay relevant, too.

When I called Mama Scaia last Sunday, she said the Dayton Mall has a bunch of empty storefronts. She said she hadn’t gone to the mall in about a year.

That last trip was to buy “pinch pleat draperies.” I sounded like a fool when I said I had no idea what pinch pleat draperies were. Apparently, that’s the Cadillac of draperies.

She said the busiest part of the mall was the bottom floor of the Sears because that’s where people lined up to return things they bought on Amazon.

Back to Plano, thousands of people RSVP’ed for the party last weekend. The mall was packed. The developer was giving out free hot dogs, and the line wrapped around the atrium. They even had a DeLorean!

Collin Creek Mall opened in 1981. They’ve got a DeLorean for the farewell party, but Doc Brown would be SHOCKED at these kids’ lack of interest. I’m worried they may not understand we gotta get back in time! pic.twitter.com/NIPkjoXqyD

— Alan Scaia (@scaia) July 27, 2019

“Hey,” I’d say to random shoppers to get their memories of the mall’s heyday. I’m sorry if you thought this question had just come to me. I asked just about everyone. “If everyone who showed up for the farewell party had actually come to shop once in a while, you think maybe the mall might have stayed open?”

I wish my friends and I had dressed as the A*Team for the costume contest. No one at this 80s party was even dressed as B.A. Baracus! I know what you’re thinking: “Scaia, your suave demeanor really makes you more of a Faceman.”

You’re right, gang, you’re right. Face and I are both Catholic, even! And if I remember my roots, going to the Dayton Mall and having lunch at McCrory’s in the 80s, I might grow into a modern day Hannibal. I’ll just need an ascot.

Also, remind me when I go home at Christmas, Scaiaholics, to remark about how great the pinch pleat draperies look at my mom’s house.