I grew up near Cincinnati, and my parents are from Connecticut. Naturally, I grew up a fan of the Montreal Expos.

Loyal Scaiaholics may recall how, as a li’l rapscallion, I became an Expos fan during the 1988 All-Star Game because of their hats.

Each year, the Texas Rangers have reporters show up to try their new dishes. This year, though, they’ve got other things on their mind, so the biggest attraction is a two pound chicken finger called the “Fowl Pole.”  I would have liked to attend to ask how they found a chicken that big and also to explain that as a former professional umpire, it is a fair pole.

“The pole is in fair territory!” I would shout at a chef while bits of chicken sprayed out of my mouth.

To prevent that, the Blue Jays staged their annual exhibition game in Montreal to coincide with the Rangers’ media event.

This year, Montreal is celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Expos’ arrival in 1969. They had a celebration on the field with legendary Expos of the olden days. They’re interviewing Felipe Alou in that picture, who managed the 1994 team that was tragically cut off during its inevitable run for a World Series championship.

The Scaias have scattered across North America, but my brother is working in Montreal now, so the family got together for one of the games. One of the first things that struck me is how no one thought my Montreal Expos Starter jacket seemed out of place.

At one point, we even went into a basilica [a basilica!].

People did walk up to me and tell me how great the jacket was.

I mean, sure, I’m used to people walking up and telling me I’m great, just not in French.

As soon as I landed, a guy from our flight walked up to me and asked a question in French. I just shrugged and shook my head.

Over time, I became more confident in not speaking French. By the end of the trip, I was belting out to people [who were remarkably friendly], “I don’t speak French. I’m from Texas.”

Then they’d get excited about seeing an Expos fan from Texas and tell stories about their favorite games they attended. Then I’d tell them about going to a game in 1997. Then my family would collectively roll their eyes and look at their watches.

We also took the elevator to the tower on top of the stadium. The tower is the tallest inclined structure in the world. Olympic Stadium is almost twice as tall as Big Ben, which, frankly, is hardly inclined at all. But the elevator trip did show the fresh blanket of snow on Montreal, just in time for Opening Day, while it was in the 80s in North Texas.

I did miss the Rangers’ taste-test, so I taste-tested a bunch of poutine. I had never had poutine, and my brother waived me off some mediocre poutine [fast-food poutine], so my virgin poutine experience would be done right.

Afterward, I did get looser with the poutine, eating at the exact fast-food joint from above, figuring you should dig into a native dish while it’s still available. At one point, my mom asked if there were any poutine joints in DFW. Apparently, there are. I had no idea. We have so much poutine, in fact, we had to rank the top five.

I’ve also become a maple syrup snob. I got some maple syrup on my Expos’ home jersey at breakfast one morning, so I wore road gray to the game.

I have no idea why I was so self-conscious. I’m sure everyone has maple syrup stains on their shirts in Montreal.

The Expos were known as “Nos Amours.” In honor of their 50th anniversary, I may start referring to myself as Nos Amour.

Sincerely,

Your Love