The Dallas Cowboys will host the Washington Redskins in their annual Thanksgiving game tomorrow at AT&T Stadium. Because a reporter asks, I was called upon to sample Thanksgiving dinner.

The Cowboys, you see, will serve 90,000 Thanksgiving dinners at the stadium. They have to bring in extra staff because, ever since John Madden retired, they’ve needed a new way to serve fans their essential drumstick nutrients.

Chefs at AT&T Stadium have spent the past several days gettin’ fix-ins ready for the game. To the left, you’ll see a chef has just started carvin’ into some ham, and he’s gettin’ ready to carve into some turkey.

Some stats, if you will: AT&T Stadium plans to serve 9,200 pounds of turkey tomorrow and 3,200 pounds of ham.

Much of that ham and turkey will be served with waffles shaped like Texas. The culinary team introduced the Texas shaped waffles last year.

These aren’t ordinary waffles, however. In Texas, waffles are bigger and made of stuffing.

But last year, and this is true, the chefs put the waffle on the bottom and drew criticism from the consumer because the Texas shape was not clear enough.

“Texas does NOT belong under some green beans,” you’re shouting at your computer.

The wafflestress to your right will fry up 2,500 dressing-waffles over the next two days.

In that clip above, you’ll also hear the entire team worked together to make this stuffing waffle a reality. The Dallas Cowboys are teaching you a lesson, kids: teamwork is a necessity. Waffles are not solo efforts.

And, lo, deep in the bowels of AT&T Stadium are hundreds and hundreds of hams, carved and wrapped with loving care, ready to be carted off to their destination.

“But what about side dishes!” you’re now screaming at your computer, with bits of non-stuffing waffle shooting out of your mouth as you eat breakfast.

Here are some stats on how much of each dish will be served at AT&T Stadium:

Turkey: 9,200 lbs

Ham: 3,200 lbs

Yukon Gold Potatoes: 1,800 lbs

Cornbread for Dressing: 3,800 lbs

Broccoli, Rice and Cheese Casserole: 4,500 lbs

Green Bean and Mushroom Casserole with Crispy Onions: 2,700 lbs

Praline Pecan Sweet Potato Casserole: 1,200 lbs

Mac and Cheese: 5,100 lbs

Gravy: 420 gallons

Heavy Cream for Whipped Cream Topping Desserts: 140 gallons

Gallons! Gallons of gravy and whipped cream! That’s how you know they’re serious.

I also mentioned to the head chef that the cranberry sauce missed for me. There were, like, bits of some kind of berry in there [cranberries, apparently]. Cranberry Sauce comes out of a can, I really did explain to her, and it should be shaped like a can when you bring it to the table. My brothers and I, all in our 30s and 40s, are not even a bit immature for suggesting that’s how we still demand it be served. I don’t understand why our mom doesn’t invite us home for Thanksgiving.

The Cowboys game is the kick-off to everyone either demanding Jason Garrett be fired or making plans for the Super Bowl. It’s also the kick-off for the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle campaign, which has raised about $2.5 billion since the Salvation Army and Cowboys started the partnership in 1997.

Starting this year, you can tell “Alexa” to donate to the Salvation Army. Alexa, I assume, will then become sentient and make the donation but then also make a donation to herself.

Fort Worth has a cattle drive to celebrate the start of the red kettle campaign. Fort Worth doesn’t need a computer machine to tell you how to donate to the Salvation Army.