Early voting in the mid-terms is now underway in Texas, leading reporters to show up at polling places so they can shove microphones in the faces of people who showed up to vote. The start of early voting led this reporter to dust off his ol’ standard: “I don’t know why more people don’t vote early. It’s so convenient. Why, I voted for governor more than four years ago!”
Feel free to use that one, gang, but make sure you finish it by tapping the elbow of the person standing next to you, winking and saying, “See what I did there?”
Loyal Scaiaholics know I don’t care to blog about politics. Or they know I say I don’t blog about politics, then “politics” is one of the bigger words in the “tags cloud” to the right [and now, “tags cloud” will appear in the tags cloud. The tags cloud just blew your mind].
What I mean, though, is I’ve always been successful in finding different sides of a story. I can interview a Republican lawmaker or a Democratic lawmaker, and neither party has accused me of being unfair. I get along great with the mayors of both Dallas and Fort Worth, doggone it!
Having said that, a lawsuit has been filed against Beto O’Rourke’s campaign over the text messages many of us are receiving.
I can’t imagine a scenario where I ever run for office [Loyal Scaiaholics also know I’ve long considered politics to be such a racket], but I may start sending out mass texts to everyone to ask for support. You wouldn’t be supporting anything in particular, mind you, but my campaign would just be sending out texts asking for support.
And maybe the Alan Scaia campaign would Snap. I’m not entirely sure what “Snapping” is, but an associate once asked if she could “Snap” me. I didn’t understand the question, so I got her a turtle.
In addition to accepting campaign contributions, I’d also be willing to debate my opponent. My opponent from whichever party. For whichever office. I’ve covered a lot of debates, and I think I’ve got it down:
MODERATOR: Mr. Scaia, how would you address the deficit?
SCAIA: I’d like to start by thanking the good people of Texas for being here tonight. I’d also like to thank you, Mr. Moderator, for taking time out of your busy schedule to moderate this debate. The key is that we focus on a fair election.
MODERATOR: Mr. Scaia, the deficit?
SCAIA: And my family! [crying] Kids come up here! Aren’t they adorable?!
MODERATOR: Mr. Scaia’s opponent, you have 60 seconds for a rebuttal.
ANTI-SCAIA: The real issue here is to thank everyone for coming. [crying] I also have a family!
In conclusion, when I visited Oregon last month, my first boss suggested this blog should be a podcast. Now, I see what he means. Imagine that debate in podcast form!
