I’ve long been willing to share my wisdom with those who seek it. Having said that, you can imagine my surprise when a local chamber of commerce emailed me and said one of their interns was looking to pursue a career in media and was looking for a mentor.

Loyal Scaiaholics know I’ve offered my services as a guest lecturer to Ball State. It’s possible, though, that I had never mentored anyone. As you can see, I’ve worked with interns before, but that was more focused on showing them how hectic a newsroom can get.

The marketing director at the Frisco Chamber explained the intern needed an interview with a reporter, “so naturally, I thought of you.” She continued, “You are doing a great job at KRLD.”

I may have been asked to mentor an intern looking for a career in media, but that email can also be a lesson for kids studying public relations: you can never butter up your media contacts too much. We’re delicate flowers.

As a delicate flower, I replied I was absolutely available to mentor the future of our country.

The intern and I started exchanging emails. She said she was on a tight deadline to set up the interview. That was my first tip: get used to people telling you they need that story right now.

And also be prepared to get sick of hearing that.

Now, I wish I had told her to come up with some hilarious one-liners to use in the newsroom. “Instead of that live report, why not a minute of dead air?” is one of my favorites. I can’t imagine my editors ever get tired of that. Also, make sure to take hilarious pictures of you interviewing penguins and Big Tex.

But I had to go ahead and say things that were serious, like I’m a big deal, telling her to treat every story the same way. Even if a story doesn’t seem important, it might be very important to someone else.

Loyal Scaiaholics will also recall my aversion to asking people who are obviously upset how they feel. That also came up, but I focused on explaining that a lot of stories are a drag, but if you show some empathy, people will open up. Don’t be there because it’s your job. Instead, Learn about the family who lost their house in a tornado. Tell their story about how they’ll rebuild. They might even make a joke about how their house is messy.

I also told her people in media change jobs a lot, giving her my resume with stops in Indiana, Florida, Oregon and Texas. When I told her I got fired from my last job [at a station, I explained, that later went bankrupt and tanked in the ratings] because I was assigned to drive into a hurricane and the car got water damage, even she, a student, thought that was strange, saying, “Oh my God. You’re kidding me.”

There’s another lesson, future journalists. Don’t care ’bout nothin’.

I’m still available as a guest lecturer, Ball State. Or, as you can see, a motivational speaker. I still think you’ll find my rate quite competitive. Instead of a fee, you could name a building after me. After all, I understand the entrepreneurship school recently became available.