Loyal Scaiaholics know I enjoy a trip to the casinos in Oklahoma each year around my birthday.

This year, Oklahoma joined the celebration by allowing craps. Oklahoma had only allowed card games, saying games like craps and roulette were games of luck, not skill.

Frankly, roulette sounds like a racket, but loyal Scaiaholics also know it ain’t luck when I shoot craps [you simply have to control the dice. It’s not a scam]. Finally, the Oklahoma legislature noticed.

So I gathered ’round the craps table this weekend. They were still playing “card craps” [which does sound like a scam], so I decided to observe. A dealer explained they were expecting to get training finished and start with real craps the following week. Immediately, I scurried away from the table to notify my associates.

One of those associates had stayed home because he thinks being a new father is more important than gambling. I texted him my plans to start organizing weekly trips to the casino, explaining, “That could help Baby Girl Stewart learn to count!” [his last name is Stewart. It’s possible his daughter’s name is not “Baby Girl.”]

“Early childhood development!” he responded.

But I started watching the “card craps” game and was peppering the dealer with questions.

“There’s a guy there holding a stick, but if he’s not croupiering dice, how is he a stickman? It’s ceremonial! He’s nothing more than a stickboy!”

The dealer defended Stickboy, saying he still gestures toward things with the stick.

My position is you don’t need an official stick for that. Just give him a twig or something.

Also, at the casinos in Oklahoma, you have to pay an ante before each round of blackjack. I asked her how antes work in craps. She explained you put your ante down before the come-out roll.

“But only suckers play the come out roll!” I, quite reasonably, replied.

She said that’s all well and good, but I’d still have to ante when I put out my buy and place bets. That’s how they get ya.

I did spend some time at the blackjack table, and in conclusion, this isn’t weird: I was losing and got up to go to the bathroom. “I used paper towels when we first came in,” I thought to myself as I washed my hands. “Maybe if I use the air dryer, that’ll turn things around.”

I’m sure that sounds crazy.

But then I went on a run and left up for the day!

Am I still crazy, Scaiaholics?!