Like the Great Horned Antelope of the Sahara Desert, this website has migrated to a new a new design.
I had been told, literally, almost half a dozen times that the blog had become difficult to read on a mobile device, or “cell phone.” Some Scaiaholics, and I frequently use the phrase, “Loyal Scaiaholics,” but is that really appropriate here? Some Scaiaholics threatened to stop reading. Three of them! And they don’t even know each other!
Not being old fashioned, I contacted my hosting company, which explained that a “plug-in” wasn’t registering people who click on Facebook links as mobile users, so it would take them to the desktop site.
“But where’s the socket for this plug-in?!” I asked, frantically, using two forms of punctuation in the chat box.
An associate had declared the site looks like “amateur hour” because I was using a “plug-in” that was “drag and drop” instead of using a theme on WordPress.
“But I am an amateur!” I explained to the coder, who was acting like he’s better than me because I don’t, technically, know what a “coder” is. “Also, all these forms of punctuation I’m using are really tiring me out!?.!”
“But Scaia,” I can hear the loyaler Scaiaholics pleading with their computer screens. “That’s just three of your, I’ve got to assume, billions of readers! Why so angry?”
I know, gang, I know. But every Scaiaholic is important.
So I’m now using WordPress, and the computer machine has spent several days “migrating” my blog to the new type of thing.
Previously, my website just had the “template” posted [It’s not old fashioned that I keep putting words in quotes that sound futuristic]. This “template” had a bunch of women in bathing suits smiling while they run their hands through their hair. The “template” also had a blog posted titled, “You are who you are supposed to be.”
That doesn’t sound like something I’d write.
But I’m starting to see why the blog has not gone “viral.” Some of those ladies were looking suggestive enough that they may have been going viral, just not in a good way.
This “migration” has led to several changes I find acceptable. First, you don’t have to look at the blog from a Commodore 64. Also, there’s now a picture of Scaia in the tab of your web browser.
There’s also a “Tags Cloud” that recognizes how often I write about different things. For a guy who routinely says he won’t whip you with blogs about politics, I sure write about politics a lot. Also, “car crash” is a big one. I said I was moving on, but the Internet is still making that crash a thing. Thanks a lot, Al Gore. Let’s put that behind us, gang.
There’s now a “Search” box. So I started searching. I remembered that I once wrote a blog about telling a co-worker cough syrup doesn’t work, so I searched for “cough.” Now, if you type in “cough,” it takes you to all the blogs that mention coughing. That’s gonna change the way we think about coughing! It’s also not weird that I’ve written three different blogs that mention coughing.
I watched some of the “migration,” not unlike a zoologist might watch the great horned antelope migrate across the Sahara [Note from Zoologists wearing those big hats and has binoculars around their necks: Antelope are indigenous to southern Africa, not the Sahara. They’re also more common in the savanna, not a desert.]
During the “migration,” I noticed this blog I wrote about the Astros being awful. We kind of went the opposite direction on that. Also, Yu Darvish is long gone. Well-played, Houston Astros.
About a year ago, I wrote about the groundbreaking for a new library in North Fort Worth. Turns out, the words of the Lorax could not have been LESS clear, given that the library may not, actually, open.
Let me know how you feel about this, gang. If it’s terrible, my web team may relaunch “Alan Scaia Classic” and reveal this was just a marketing ploy. Or we’ll bring back the ladies in bathing suits. There’s an outside chance that would get more hits than blogs about cough syrup.
