At the beginning of this week, I covered the hard-hitting story about the Capitol telling Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert to stop cookin’ ribs on the balcony of his office.

Gohmert, in what I would imagine was an effort to build coalitions, would apparently cook ribs for his fellow Congressmen every few months. I would imagine. In his speech, Gohmert was very clear that these events were not open to the media.

The Capitol declared the ribs a fire hazard. I totally see Gohmert’s point of view here. When we’d go visit the family in Connecticut, my cousin, Patrick, would spend an entire weekend cookin’ up a fine mess of ribs.

(Note to self: Before you post this, ask Patrick how to describe his rib-cooking process. I feel like a guy from Connecticut wouldn’t use the phrases, “cookin’ up” or “fine mess.” Maybe, “studiously preparing a quality assemblage of ribs.”)

But here’s the thing: Pat cooked the ribs in a smoker. A smoker! Ain’t no fire hazard with a smoker. Of course, there’s smoldering afoot, but bon appetit tells me you want a wood like hickory because it’s less likely to flare up. I’m sure a US representative already knows that.

This begs the question, though: What else is Congress cooking on its balcony?!

I imagine Gohmert heading over to Cincinnati-area Congressman Steve Chabot’s balcony after getting an invitation to swing by for some chili.

He’d find Chabot on the balcony, slowly stirring a giant cauldron while Dayton-area Congressman Mike Turner grills some hot dog buns. Both the grill and cauldron are powered, somehow, by harmless hickory.

Gohmert starts eating, blurts out, “What is this, cinnamon?!” and spits the chili out over the balcony, plummeting onto the head of Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell, who looks up, shakes his fist and says, “Doggone it, Chabot! Not again!”

All the noise prompts Oregon Congressman Greg Walden to poke his head in and tell them to keep it down because he’s trying to brew some IPA next door.

Meanwhile, down the hall, Senator Ted Cruz was stirring a kettle filled with queso.

I swear, Texas and Arkansas got into a battle over queso. And Texas lost.

You can see in that video Senator John Cornyn looking on with a smile on his face (Cornyn would weigh in as well). Cruz delivered that speech with such eloquence. There’s no teleprompter.

I believe that’s the first time I’ve heard queso described as a “visceral, emotional family bond.”

Maybe we misunderstood Cruz at the convention. He just got a little deeper during his speech than we expected.

It’s certainly deeper than if he tweeted at 3 am, “We’re gonna build a wall around the queso. And Arkansas will pay for it!”

Thanks to Senator Tom Cotton, I learned Arkansas claims to have invented queso in 1935.

Surely, that was the Greatest Generation.