This week, I’m in Philadelphia for the Democratic National Convention.

While we wait for the convention to start each day, reporters fan out across the city to find side-bar stories. One of those stories is the Republican National Convention, which set up shop at a re-purposed wrestling arena.

Each day, they’d regale us with poll numbers that show Trump had pulled even with… with…

…and I kept looking over at the ring that was set up.

Imagine Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump settling their score in the squared circle! Trump’s done it before.

We can complain about low voter turnout all we want. I’m sure this would get a lot more people involved.

I’m told this was a historic wrestling venue that once hosted ECW events and was the site where Mickey Rourke’s The Wrestlerwas filmed.

I texted that picture to an associate who enjoys professional wrestling. He told me to say hello if I saw Dolph Ziggler.

I thought he meant Dolph Lundgren, so I kept texting him quotes from Rocky. It turns out Dolph Ziggler is the name of an actual WWE wrestler, and that’s who my friend was talking about. I’d never heard of him, so I kept talking about Dolph Lundgren.

I mean, Lundgren, according to some website, is a supporter of capitalism. How about if we had him and Bernie Sanders supporter Chad “Johnson” Ochocinco duke it out?! Mean Gene Okerlund would serve as moderator.

Each day, I make the drive from the hotel to downtown Philadelphia. It’s a six mile drive that normally takes eight to ten hours. It also includes a toll bridge. Don’t start googling around to see how close the nearest free bridge is. It’s in Trenton.

I don’t know how traffic gets backed up so much. You’re not allowed to turn at any of the intersections. It couldn’t be simpler!

More specifically, it couldn’t be simpler until you see the sign that explains that you should turn right in order to make a U-turn and go left.

Only the most Loyal Scaiaholics from my days in the Pacific Northwest will recall how I’d constantly complain about drivers in Oregon. There, people would camp out in the left lane even if they weren’t passing anyone.

I bring this up because one morning, I was driving down Interstate 76 watching signs with a yellow tail explaining mine was a LEFT EXIT. I became frustrated with a taxi that started tailgating me. I then came to a startling realization.

“Oh no,” I thought to myself, terrified. “On the East Coast, I’m the Oregon driver.”

But these drives have given me time to gain an understanding for Philadelphia culture.

For instance, a chain of gas stations is advertising specials for Hoagiefest.

Each day, I drive past this billboard near the Ben Franklin Bridge [by the way: I imagine Ben Franklin telling all the other founding fathers, “My bridge is next to a Hoagiefest sign. What’ve you got, Washington? Just a bunch of trees, eh?!”]. Can you believe it’s already Hoagiefest?! It seems like just yesterday, we were celebrating Gazpachosmas.

I’d like to thank the toll takers on the Ben Franklin Bridge for not getting frustrated when I’d ask for a receipt. That feels weird, but it’s five bucks a day! There’s rivers that need crossing in Texas, and you don’t have to pay a toll there, except in Houston. But I feel like living in Houston is toll enough.