I’m spending this week at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland. I imagined a situation where I’d live blog the entire thing and then someone would send me a check for millions of dollars with a note reading, “Thanks for the enlightenment.”

I feel a lot of ways about things, but I’ve only just now had a few minutes to write a blog. At this moment, I’m waiting for the governor of Ohio, John Kasich, to talk to a crowd of supporters and campaign volunteers at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That’s given me enough free time to discuss the band who’s playing while we wait on the governor.

Their playlist started with “Pretty Woman.” That seemed like a strange choice. I’m not saying Kasich is not pretty, just that he’s not a woman.

Then they’d throw “Footloose” in there, followed by that insipid “Happy” by Pharrell Williams.

I was standing next to the photographer for a TV station.

“Shoulda stuck with the Kenny Loggins,” I said. The photographer would nod. He was right to do it.

At another point, a different cameraman on one of the risers in the press area started yelling at a newspaper photographer who had just set up her camera on the riser in front of him.

“The bun in your hair is too high! You’ve gotta duck!” He yelled.

Those of us within earshot started laughing. Except the TV reporter with the cameraman. She encouraged the photographer to move to one side, offering to clear her some space.

“No, no, I was just kidding. You’re fine where you are,” the cameraman said, once again showing that in television news, the cameramen are often more learned than the reporters.

The music would continue for quite some time. I tweeted the playlist, like some sort of modern day Gene Siskel, if Gene Siskel had been a music critic. Also, you should follow me on twitter. I won’t interact with you, but how else will you hear about what music’s playing at political events?!

The music would ultimately transition to Simon and Garfunkel, which showed excellent judgment on Kasich’ part. But they played Cecilia.

Listen to me: Homeward Bound was the right song in this situation.

The regional president for AT&T would introduce Kasich:

“Welcome to Cleveland!” He said. “Or, as we call it now, the city of champions.”

“As we call it now.” That’s kind of depressing, AT&T executive. I mean, Cleveland was founded in 1796. And we’re just now able to call it a city of champions!? It’s a good thing Lebron came back.

While I was at the Hall of Fame, I was reminded that Cheap Trick was inducted this year. Kasich totally could have played some “Dream Police” to bring him onstage. Or, and listen to me: Taxman, Mr. Thief.

How much would that have rung out to the voters!? Listen to me Republican candidates: my services are available to develop a soundtrack for your campaign rallies. I think you’ll find my fee quite affordable.