This weekend, I took in a screening of Independence Day: Resurgence. Going in, I was a little concerned. The reviews were harsh and sequels don’t always work out. Consider Listen to Me: I’m Very Much Aware of What You Did Last Summer. They made so many of those money-making ventures that you may have just said, “That might actually be the name of one of them. Phil [assuming your husband’s name is Phil], is that the name of one of those stupid Jennifer Love Hewitt movies?!”

The New York Times labeled the writing “lackluster.” The Atlantic would call the film “an insult to the blockbuster genre.” My question to movie critics: Why so angry?

Plus, I knew the sequel was filmed sans Will Smith. Apparently, he was asking for $50 million. Attention Centropolis Entertainment: I’d have punched an alien in the face for half that!

“Welcome to Earth!”

Wait, let me clear my throat…

“Welcome to Earth!”

I’ll have my phone nearby if you want to call and ask about my availability for the third one.

Let’s start with the high points of the film: We learn early on that the guy who played Data on Star Trek survived his alien strangulation in the first one.

Then Bill Pullman gives another rousing speech. Then Pullman, who had previously been crazy, walks up in pilot-garb [Note to self: you know a guy in the Air Force. Before you post this, remember to ask for him for a more majestic term than “pilot garb.”] and declares that he’s totally getting on one of the planes to smack the aliens right in their face [Note to readers: “Smack the aliens right in their face” is my phrase, not his].

So even though his character went nuts after the first movie, I’d like to suggest a Pullman/Data from Star Trek ticket this November.

That’d really help us get over some of the issues we’re dealing with right now. Imagine Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton with an unwieldy beard. It just doesn’t make sense!

The United Kingdom’s drawn a lot of attention for voting to “Brexit” the European Union. In Independence Day, we learn that Earth united as one nation after the first attack. Imagine Earth voting to Brexit the solar system [Since the name is Earth, the term would probably be “Exit,” which doesn’t seem to have the same pizzazz]. Pullman would give a speech that would sway people to vote toward anti-Brexiting this thing. Totally anti-Brexit it!

One issue, though: when the second attack starts, Earth’s president is giving some sort of State of the Union Address with thousands of people gathered around. You then hear a recording over the speakers telling people to evacuate in a calm and orderly manner.

I feel like a recording that loud would cause me, and I don’t think I’m alone here, to evacuate in a rather disorderly manner.

Another issue is the moon colony. At one point, an astronaut opens up a thing labeled “Moon Milk.” How are you gonna milk a cow on the moon?! That milk isn’t dropping calmly into a bucket. It’ll just splatter all over the place. It’s a logistical nightmare!

Overall, though, I thought it was fine. It’s not as though the first one made you think about a bunch of stuff. On the way out, I did hear one woman declare that the first one “was actually worth watching.”

So I nudged an associate and explained that I was going to check with the ticket lady to see how people were responding as they left. She said most people seemed to like it.

And why not?! The movie featured lots of ‘splosions and rousing speeches that make you feel ways about things, so I’m not sure why it got such bad reviews.

I did notice that the theater wasn’t packed. So listen, Centropolis Entertainment, I’ll make it even easier on you and drop my fee to $20 million. You’re welcome.