As a journalist, it’s my responsibility to investigate important news stories.
I’ve covered elections, hurricanes, tornadoes and, this is important, the return of Twinkies to store shelves after Hostess declared bankruptcy.
So it’s also my responsibility to cover National Pancake Day. You see, today, IHOP is giving away a free short stack. This is the tenth anniversary of National Pancake Day, but what if I told you the real holiday was in September?!
I can hear everyone murmuring to each other. I’ll give you a chance to regain your composure. Here’s a picture of an omelet to help divert your attention:
Ten years ago, the IHOP board of directors, I assume, gathered around a cleanly-finished table. Someone yelled out, “Hey! Let’s move National Pancake Day to March! Then, my ex-wife will show up expecting free flapjacks in September and get nothing! That’ll prove that she’s the one with unrealistic expectations!”
The rest of board room voiced its approval and decided to start a splinter holiday.
The board then failed to reach an agreement on how make this pancake situation the least convenient, so two years ago, the holiday was held in February before being moved to its current date.
The result is we now have to deal with all the commercial build-up to two flapjack-related holidays every year.
Also, Perkins has started its own pancake holiday, called “Give Kids the World Pancake Day,” which includes free pancakes, raises money for kids’ charities and makes people choke on their breakfast while they try to rattle off an unreasonably long name. Perkins, though, is doing the right thing by holding the event in September.
In my role as an Edward R. Murrow Award-winning journalist, my original plan was to set out to IHOP this morning to blow the lid off this important pancake story.
Confidently, I would stride up to a family eating a free meal and ask, “Aren’t you furious right now?!”
But as part of IHOP’s plan to inconvenience me, I had to cover a severe weather outbreak, which, for many, was legitimately infuriating as opposed to however I got worked up.
Look at Big Flapjack, though, moving holidays around to suit its own marketing ploy.
Of course I’m joking. IHOP is dedicating a portion of sales to charity, saying it’s raised almost $20 million since it launched Heathen Pancake Day. That seems reasonable enough.
Oh, if only your favorite charity accepted donations in September!
I considered eating a short-stack at IHOP in protest, scowling at people sitting in surrounding booths. Instead, I was invited to a Chamber of Commerce luncheon, so I scowled at Ft. Worth’s business leaders.
The country club that hosted the luncheon served chicken, so kudos to the Chamber for choosing a venue that observes Traditional Pancake Day.
