Hola, amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but your ol’ pal Scaia’s been knee-deep in hoopla.

Earlier this year, some dudes from Oncor came by the house to do some work on the power pole in the alley. For my convenience, they left a tree in my backyard. Not standing up, mind you, just lying across the yard.

I called Oncor and a very polite lady offered to send another dude over the house to examine the situation. This dude very politely explained that even though the crew did knock the tree over, it was already dead and not Oncor’s responsibility.

As a problem solver, I sought an answer that would be beneficial to all parties involved. The plan involved me moving the tree myself, loading it into the back of my truck, driving over the Oncor building in Dallas and unloading it in front of the exit from the parking garage.

Just as I was getting ready to carry out the plan, though, I got home from work one day and found the tree was no longer in the backyard. Apparently, the dude from Oncor had relented and called in a crew.

I didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, I had defeated the mighty utility! On the other hand, I was really looking forward to exacting vengeance. When it comes to exacting things, vengeance is often at the top of the list.

Oncor would even the score, though, by calling in a thunderstorm a few weeks later and leaving the power off to my block for four days. The first night, I went to a friend’s house to charge my cell phone and complain that the groceries I’d bought that very morning would surely spoil. The next night, I went back to the friend’s house. That time, his girlfriend was there and she asked why I hadn’t just brought my groceries along with the cell phone.

There was a pause followed by thoughtful nodding by everyone who’d been in the room the previous night.

Then that fella in Dallas got Ebola. I think that may have made the news. In Ft. Worth, we had the good sense not to let our Ebola patient get any closer than Atlanta. In Dallas, a guy catches Ebola and the hospital sends him home to vomit all over the place. But don’t worry! The landlord totally hosed the Ebola vomit off the sidewalk.

On facebook, several friends, none of whom even live in Texas, mind you, were posting about this outbreak and how you couldn’t pay them to get on a plane right now. In a separate case, a more reasonable facebook friend wrote that a parent had called to cancel a piano lesson with his daughter because his daughter went to school with the son of that guy who had a stomach ache.

I was planning to encourage everyone to get a flu shot since the flu might actually kill you, but then I saw the Boston Globe had compiled an impressive list of things more likely to kill you than Ebola, so read this instead.

Right now, though, it appears the outbreak is waning in Dallas, and that lets us focus on the Major League Baseball playoffs. Loyal Scaiaholics will recall that each year, I study the playoff teams and declare the most lovable underdog honorary 1994 Montreal Expos.

And by “each year,” I mean “three times in the past seven years.” I haven’t done it since I started posting blogs on here, and I’m pretty sure the most recent season was 2010 when I declared the Cincinnati Reds the honorary 1994 Montreal Expos. I’m not sure how I came to that conclusion, other than I sort of like the Reds. For crying out loud, the Rangers won the pennant for the first time that year and had an actual Montreal Expo on the roster! They must have lost points because Vladimir Guerrero didn’t get called up to Montreal until 1996.

It doesn’t matter, though. This year, I’m proud to declare the Kansas City Royals honorary 1994 Montreal Expos! They have all the attributes:

1.) The Royals have a devoted fan base that refuses to acknowledge how few of them exist.
2.) Impending free agency threatens to doom the team.
3.) Blue features prominently in both teams’ uniforms.

Watch out, though, Kansas City Royals. Game six is Tuesday, and nothing good ever happens in game six.