Gentlemen,

Twelve years ago, we celebrated a game-changing milestone in the history of our great industry. The 15 minute auto insurance quote changed our business forever.

The 15 minute quote brought us fortune and fame. No longer did we wait for a table at the most popular restaurants. With great fanfare did bouncers usher us past the line at even the most exclusive clubs in all of the Indemnity District.

Our competition tried to respond. They rolled out ads with a pink-haired cartoon woman. We introduced a gecko. They answered with that guy from The Office. We brought in a talking camel.

We made every right move.

But we also grew comfortable. We’ve rested for too long, and that’s why I’ve gathered you here today.

The competition is now offering insurance quotes in … *sigh* … seven and a half minutes.

Our espionage division suggested something like this was in the works, but we thought they’d go to 12 minutes. Ten, tops.

We must respond, but how? A more efficient claims process? Simplified documents that eliminate industry jargon?

Today’s consumer is much too savvy for that nonsense. We must fight fire with fire! For if we fail, we are doomed to join the 21st Centuries and Charter Nationals of the industry, gobbled whole by larger, more adaptive organizations.

You’ll remember when “select-a-size” paper towels first hit store shelves. A competitor had the guts to ask, “Why don’t we put twice as many sheets on the roll?”

In a world that stagnated with razors of two blades, a visionary asked, “Why not three?” When an adversary struck back with a fourth blade, the trailblazer parried by sticking a battery in the razor. A triple-a battery right there in the handle, gently vibrating its way to the facial grooming industry’s golden age!

Now, we shall seek out a similar innovation of our own. We must offer a three minute and 45 second insurance quote!

Your gasps are understandable. But so much has changed since Leo Goodwin, our beloved founder, wrote his seminal essay in 1961 on why breaking the four minute barrier would be impossible.

Goodwin never anticipated the use of credit scores in determining premiums, nor did he foresee the use of onboard data recorders to track policy holders’ driving habits.

And, I would add, he scoffed at the first mention of a seven and a half minute quote.

“It’ll take that long to dial our number on the rotary!” he bellowed.

Some of you won’t make it through this journey. Your wives won’t understand.

“Why must you be the one who blazes this path into an untamed frontier?” They’ll ask.

But the last line of Goodwin’s essay still rings true, perhaps now more than ever: a man doesn’t choose underwriting. Underwriting chooses the man.

You must ask yourself, “Am I willing to take up the mantle of our forefathers? What am I willing to sacrifice for this, this noblest of pursuits, this three minute and 45 second insurance quote?”

Hold on to your actuarial tables, gentlemen. We are at war!