The hullaballoo over Wendy Davis’ exposure as the first politician in American history to bend the truth got me to thinking: I should clear up some misconceptions about my own personal story before the Dallas Morning News does it for me.
I also pledge to make more of my events open to the press.
Wendy Davis, of course, isn’t really the first politician who creatively massages her persona to more concisely present herself to the voters. For instance, did you know that when you meet Greg Abbott in person, his smile is only about 60 percent as disarming as the picture on his website would suggest?
Still, I feel like I need to get ahead of this story:
– I did not, in fact, coin the term “funderful.”
– I don’t love Mad Men. I only sort of like Mad Men.
– The other day, I had to google Justin Bieber to remind myself why he’s famous. It turns out I had started confusing him with someone from MTV’s Real World, which I’ve never, technically, seen.
– When I discuss my legislative highlights, it’s not completely truthful that I sponsored a constitutional amendment that would forbid the state legislature from passing any law that restricts a man’s ability to totally rock out to some Eric Clapton after a hard day at work. A more accurate way to describe the legislation would be to say, “I’ve never had a legislative highlight because I have never held an elected office and don’t anticipate a situation in which that would ever happen.”
That last part is especially important. People usually assume I’m part of the Republican Agenda because I work at a talk radio station or they assume I’m part of the Liberal Agenda because I’m one of the reporters.
In reality, I usually explain to people, “Politics is such a racket.”
Not all politics, mind you. Just the politics that centers on politicians talking about each other. The politics where four old dudes and an attractive woman sit around a table on cable television and spend half an hour debating the significance of President Obama calling John Boehner a “sissy-mary.” And then John Boehner cried a little bit. And then he raised $12 million for a political action committee that supports candidates who are okay expressing their emotions.
Last week, I was at a party where two gentlemen had decided to break the ice by discussing the gubernatorial race. Usually in a situation like that, I’m off in a corner charming a woman with my explanation of why I think a euphonium gives off a richer, fuller sound than a tuba. [Note: the euphonium-tuba debate is powder keg waiting to go off, so rest assured, I’m not
saying I’m perfect when it comes to avoiding controversial topics.]
One of them muttered something about how Abbott hates education and then they went back to arguing with each other, frequently using the words “liberal” and “elitist.”
Meanwhile, they’re completely ignoring any actual issues. While they argue, their elected officials could be debating whether Eric Clapton’s entire catalog should be protected or just his work through Cream.
Those are the kinds of decisions being made while you’re distracted with what years Wendy Davis was living in a trailer park and the degree to which she’d describe her time at Harvard funderful.
