By now, you’ve probably heard about Senate Bill 5. You’ve probably also heard that Wendy Davis, a Democratic senator from Ft. Worth, spent 13 hours filibustering Senate Bill 5. Finally, you’ve probably also heard that Tommy Williams, a Republican senator from District 4, called for a warning against Davis for accepting help from Rodney Ellis putting on a back brace.

Enough exposition. This is not a blog about the political or moral ramifications of the bill. You can find that elsewhere.

This blog goes deeper.

This blog considers a hypothetical conversation among Williams and his staff having during the filibuster:

“Hey, can he do that?” State Senator Tommy Williams whispers to his chief of staff after seeing Rodney Ellis give Wendy Davis a back brace. “Can he just, like, help her with a back brace?”

“I don’t think so,” Janet Stieben replies. “I think that’s against the rules. She can’t have any physical help during a filibuster.”

“Ha ha! We’ve got her now!” Williams begins to stand up. Stieben stops him.

“Wait a second,” she turns to Williams’ legislative aide, Jeff Nelson. “How are we on back braces?”

“The polls show us weak on prosthetics already,” Nelson replies. “Remember the time you told that kid with scoliosis to stand up and take a bow?”

“Hmm,” Stieben gazes into the distance. “An anti-back brace position could make it worse.”

“Is there any potential for backlash?” Williams asks. “Do we have anyone building back braces in the district?”

“There used to be a back brace factory in Beaumont, but it moved to Mexico in 1986,” Stieben explains.

“Hell, I wasn’t even in office then.”

“No, but it’s still a hot button,” she continues. “Calling attention to the back brace might just open up old wounds. A lot of our target constituency thought they’d retire at that factory. Thought they’d pass their jobs on to their kids.”

“What kind of hit are we looking at?”

“Three points,” Nelson says before looking dejectedly at the floor. “Maybe four.”

“What if I come out in favor of back braces, but against her back brace?” Williams proposes.

“What if she’s wearing, hear me out, one of the Mexican back braces!?” Stieben asks excitedly. “She’s a drain on the economy!”

“That’s risky,” Nelson says. “She could be wearing a back brace that was built by that outfit in Abilene. That could cost us District 24.”

“Get our P.I. on the phone,” Williams hisses. “I want a list of every back brace that’s been sold within ten miles.”

“We don’t have time,” Stieben says. “We need to move on this.”

Stieben, Nelson and Williams are staring intently at each other, unsure how to proceed. Davis, her back brace secured, is about to resume speaking. Time is short.

Suddenly, Williams’ intern, Alexis, draws their attention.

“You can finesse this without coming out against back braces, Senator,” she says.

Williams and Nelson look intrigued.

“Defend the back brace,” she continues, whispering loudly enough to draw a stare from Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst on the dais.

“Okay, Alexis, this isn’t the appropriate time,” Stieben snaps.

“Just a moment,” Williams counters. “You’ve got ten seconds to explain yourself.”

“Look, this isn’t even really about the back brace,” Alexis continues. “You’re advocating respect for parliamentary procedure. You’re not tearing down back braces. If you get any brushback about political motives, just talk about how you have several vertebrae yourself and use your back almost every day.”

Williams, Stieben and Nelson exchange glances of anticipation, followed by relief.

“Draft me something,” Williams whispers to Nelson before putting his hand on Alexis’ shoulder. “You know what, kid? You just might make it in this business, after all.

“Let’s roll,” Williams says in a hushed tone.

He then calls out to Dewhurst.

“Point of order!”

Exeunt